The Art Of Speaking

Dear One,

Do you know that the average man speaks around 7000 words a day and women...Any guesses???

Alright here is the answer. An average woman chats up a whooping average of 20,000 words a day. Almost thrice of what a man can ever think of speaking. Ain't that incredible. However, the point is how much of the words we speak daily are worthy of making a difference to the overall quality of our lives.

We Indians, as any other breed, have a penchant to talk tirelessly. One research also shows that, half of what we speak is utterly useless and the other half, people just fail to comprehend. In simple terms, it means most of what we speak is plain crap. Then why do we speak so much in the first place?

One main reason for us to speak endlessly is to gain acceptance. We are social creatures of circumstance and to gain the respect of another fellow being, we speak or discuss or end up downright arguing. The characteristics of a great conversation is a fine balance between speaking and listening. We think we have,  honed the art of speaking perfectly; however we still have a long way to go in the art of skillful listening.

Hasn't it happened many a times, when we pour out our hearts and this friend just keeps listening, without uttering a single word; only their eyes conveying a sense of understanding. You feel so unburdened and relieved that you have no other words to express. That is the magic of speaking effectively - not speaking at all; but soulfully listening. Listening is a dying art, as everyone wants to speak and be heard. The one thing they love is to hear the magic of their own voice.

I recently happened to talk to a sales guy, who was a college student and he was extremely articulate with his sales pitch. He seemed to flow like a river, touching all points of importance and gesticulating with excitement about his product. I gave him the freedom to express, and when my time came to ask him a few questions  about the product he was representing, he got mortally offended. Our man became so indignant, that he refused to answer my questions with a straight face. By the way, I did not buy his product and he lost an interested customer.

What amazes me the most, is the sense of senseless self-love, kids have acquired now-a-days. The way they have a mindless grasp over their tongues is truly a sight worth watching and listening to. Their talks are filled with an air of arrogance, bordering on self-obsession. Aggression has become their second nature, jarring every sentence with a rawness, you have never heard before. Their words drip with reckless abandon, caring not what or who they are speaking to. And, the best part is, they take pride in being arrogant and love to cut people down with their sharp tongues. But, how long does it take for a sharp tongue to cut it's own throat?  Only time will tell.

Everyone should learn the fine art of speaking (and listening too). When compared, it is like a glass of exquisite wine. You smell the aroma of intelligence wafting, the rich hue of timeless refinement, the smoothness of words when you swirl it around and finally the full-bodied taste hitting your mental taste buds when you take it in with pleasure. Then, all that is left, is to sit back and enjoy the whole experience like a vintage piece of timeless music. Soulful speech creates such a symphony of words, so expertly mixed to perfection, that it brings harmony to the listener's minds - that's the key.

Language is a powerful medium of expression. When mastered, it can become your greatest asset and when used wisely, it can be a powerful tool for transformation. I too, am a humble student of language, trying to decipher it's deepest mysteries, but also, not forgetting to listen to it's unspoken words. Refine your speech and see how it refines you invariably.

May your words be worth listening to.

Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.