How to Become A Politician

Dear One,

So you aspire to become a politician.

One rule of thumb to remember is "When no one pays heed to your pitiful existence; create havoc and make your presence felt". This is the hottest political mantra of today's pseudo-protectors of the country. Each passing day, the menace of unwarranted political publicity is breaking new grounds and people alike.

Here are a few pointers to become an avant grade politician -

- Have a following of bigoted individuals willing to do anything for the sake of their party leader's alter ego
- Once a month (the more the better though), pick on an unsuspecting celebrity to further your cause
- Forget their contributions and denounce their actions and credibility by unleashing a verbal diarrhea of allegations
- Treat your state as your own familial property and do whatever "you" think is right
- Put your own state above the nation, making it a pseudo-democratic country, within a country
- Talk of being an Indian but beat the wits of anyone who don't belong to your home state
- Force everyone to learn the local language; else you brand them heretics and outcast them
- Twist cultural and historical facts for personal and party gains
- Demand all the roads and fly-overs be named after their loved on
- Start to believe that without your existence the earth will stop rotating
- Use muscle power when brain power seems out dated
- Talk non-stop, even when no one's listening
- Criticize and blame everyone. But when criticized, hold the state to political ransom
- Make tall claims and deliver nothing
- When the city is being bled by a group of paltry terrorists; stick to your hi-security home turf and thank god how safe you are
- However, watch the proceedings in your Hi-Fi television and give fiery commentary to your party workers
- Pick on everything that is irrelevant and let go of the vital ones of concern
- Keep talking and stop acting; that's the name of the game
- Think just about yourself and your party's well being. Don't dare to care about your country.

What a sad plight we have managed to put ourselves into. The ever-perfect politicians are not to be blamed for this. It's people like me and you who care a damn about anything, save our own selves.

Wake up before it's too late.

By the way, if you are still determined to become a politician and wish to do something different, then my vote's all yours.

Peace in oneself - Peace in the world

P.S - I am not canvassing for or against any political unit. It's just an outpouring of a hapless and disillusioned  citizen of INDIA.