Dear One,
The road of life, will be filled with gravel and splinters to cut your feet at every step. Yet, you have to keep on walking...for without moving on, you will never find true freedom.
A true friend is the one who walks with you when others prefer to stay. A much neglected friend of ours, in a way, is the one who protects us night and day with it's very life, yet we seldom acknowledge it's existence.
This is the story of the humble Chappals.
Although, an odd thought to conceive of; but few things are really odd in the apparent level. But, the minute you dive deep into it's hidden mysteries, the veil of ignorance is lifted to reveal a grand lesson for you to learn and pass it on.
This is the diary of those very chappals, that have guarded my feet in the sun, rain or when I am just in pain.
The Birth:
'I am born. An animal had to die so I could live. That's the natural law of nature. Human birth is definitely less painful than mine. I had to bear the heavy poundings of the hammer and the harsh treatment of chemicals to make me what I am today. What a painful way to see the light of the world, only to be kept at feet's length. But I don't have any regrets, as everyone has a responsibility to fulfill; to protect and serve is mine.'
The Journey Begins:
'I am sold. My value is hardly recognized, as I am sold at a pittance. My new owner gleans over me with pride, feeling me with his feet, thumping me against the ground, to see if I am able to take the beatings without giving away. I do. I am built for that very purpose. My journey begins. I am glad to be of some purpose. Most of you humans, don't even know the purpose of your existence - at least I do. My new owner, discards my worn out brother for me and I fit snugly on to his calloused feet. He takes me almost everywhere he goes and in return, I ensure his feet doesn't get exposed to the harsh conditions of life. He walks on and I give him company, silently yet steadily protecting him from all the unknown perils below his feet.'
The Trials:
'The journey of life is determined by the trials and tribulations you encounter on the way. That makes it worthwhile or worthless. What's the point of being born with a golden spoon when you can't even taste life and it's true flavors. My owner is a hardworking man and I have to work harder to keep up to his pace. I seldom get respite from his busy schedule. It seems to me, that both of our destinies are tied together by a common thread - Hard work. Nevertheless, working hard is the way of life. The fruits of diligent labor are very sweet indeed.'
Mid Life Crisis:
'Time flies when you are bound to a cause. I never knew when time just flew past, giving me not a chance to ponder over my own well being. I can sense many signs of aging in me, when I see and hear cracks and groans all over. I am afraid, that my owner too might have noticed it. I can see that he has not treated me the way I am supposed to be. The quality of my life is rightfully in his hands - no in his feet. But, in a way, you tend to take for granted the things that are very close to you, till the time it no longer serves your purpose. Then you start finding faults with it and make ways to render it useless.'
The Breakdown:
'I finally give in. It came at a very unexpected moment for me and my master. He wore me with careless abandon and was walking in full stride over sharp rocks and that was when one of my limbs got badly ruptured. He was shocked and clueless at first, but then started hurling abuses on me and my maker for not making me right. I was too numb to react, to my master's taunt and felt sad, not on losing my limb, but on my master's thankless behavior. After serving him for years, with utter dedication, I was about to be declared hopeless. Mysterious and thankless are the ways of you human beings. When someone offers to help fulfill dream, you accept it without shame and the minute your dream's fulfilled, it takes no time for you to turn indifferent and thankless.'
The Repair:
'Well, my master is not planning to repair or rebuild me. A few years back, he would have done so, as he was poor and couldn't afford a new pair. But now, he has three new pairs to choose from. Money and success changes your priorities and perception drastically. Does it not?'
The Meltdown:
'I am lying on a shoe rack completely neglected and forlorn. I smell and reek of agony, not over myself, but the fact that, I could not serve my master any more. You have to pay a high price for loyalty. I paid the price with my very life. I don't know what my future is, but I wait patiently for my master to change his mind and use me once again. What an irony, even when you are put in such hopeless situations, you still cling on to a thing called Hope.'
The Aftermath:
'My purpose is finally served, that's what my master has concluded. He has thrown me away in a heap of garbage for the elements to break me to down to dust. I wait for deliverance and a miracle happens. A man, with an equally weather beaten look like mine, happens to see me rotting in the putrid heap and comes over to pick me up. He cleans me up with his smelly and gnarled hands and I see a faint smile break out on his worn out face. He puts me down and slides his hideous an dirty feet over me. But, deep inside I feel happy to have been granted a fresh lease of life. I realize, that life always gives you a second chance. Don't lay much stress on the package it comes in. It's up to you to recognize it or let it pass away in disdain. I chose to make the best use of it.'
The Conclusion:
'Your loss is someone else's gain. I understand that clearly now. My new master treats me with respect. When life gives you in abundance, you tend to lose sight of values it brings along. But, when life deprives you of almost everything, all things irrespective will be valuable. The one who is wise, will choose to remain equanimous in times of pleasure, so as in pain. Both are impermanent and fleeting so why attach and embitter yourself to the things that are transitory in nature. What goes, shall come back; and what comes back, shall go someday.'
'My journey continues. I walk on, despite the odds. Come rain or sunshine, my job is to serve humankind and relive them of their walking miseries. Whether you recognize my humble services or not, I care not; for, selfless service, you know not.'
Peace in yourself. Peace in the world.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Why Men Stray & Women Follow?
Dear One,
Well, simply put, it is in our genes - That's what modern scientists have to say of this ageless 'hu-man' trait. By the way, it is not restricted to just men, women too have made their mark in this game of emotional tic-tac-toe.
So, the big question is why do men (and sometimes women) stray off-course in their relationship?
Now here are some startling facts. According to a new study conducted by marriage counselor, M. Gary Neuman, it's estimated that one in 2.7 men will cheat - and most of their will never know about it. What's more astonishing here is, when asked - "What is the number one reason men cheat?", almost 92% men said...
No. It was NOT sex. The majority said, it was an emotional disconnection, specifically a sense of feeling under appreciated. It can be said to be true for women as well, but men top the charts in this field to say the least.
Men are very emotional creatures and the differentiating factor from women is, that they can't explicitly express their emotions in clear terms, ending up giving mixed and confusing signals most of the time. Hence, the lack of correct understanding leads us to be termed emotionless and cold by our women. The secret in understanding men is in reading the signals right.
I have known couples, good friends of mine, straying undeniably in their relationship due to various unconsolable reasons. The primary reason is the lack of a healthy "Work-Life balance". It is one of the primary causes of discord in any relationship. They are just not able to "Invest" quality time with each other. Even if they manage to take time out for each other, their Blackberrys tag along, inflicting further damage.
Solution: Take time out for each other. Work is merely for sustenance, but relationship is a life-long partnership. Do crazy things together, like going on an adventure trail, bird watching (In the real sense), painting your home together etc. Creativity is the key to a long lasting relationship.
The second reason, which arguably stands true, is the lack of appreciation. With daily worries like bills, children and chores, psychologists say its easy for couples to drift away from appreciating one another like they should. Hence, men get instantly attracted to the "other" woman, who often makes the man feel better about himself. He goes weak in the knees, when the "other" women makes him feel different, admired and appreciated. Men look strong, powerful and capable, but on the inside, we are mighty insecure like everybody else. Men are looking for somebody to build them up and make them feel valued. Why can't that be you?
Solution: Don't be afraid to praise your partner or tell him that you appreciate what he does, Gary, the psychologist says, "We get married because we want one person in the world to really think we're wonderful for doing all the things that we do. We all want the same thing," he says. "And the more we give it, the more we get it in return."
Thirdly, when you fall out of love, your chances of losing your man gets higher. Sometimes, men become so comfortable in a relationship, they don't know how to get out. They may be staying in the relationship due to various reasons, like children or financial reasons. However, they feel like they are missing out on love and may seek it out else where.
Solution: Rekindle your relationship. Only love and time heals the deepest of wounds and brings two wayward souls closer to each other.
Other reasons why men cheat:
- Because they had an option. The old saying 'Men are only faithful as their options' can sometime ring true.
- It boosts their ego. Face it. It's got nothing to do with you. Men and their inflated egos can never be contained within four walls.
- Maybe you argue a lot. Men will sometime cheat to get away from an overly critical or argumentative partner.
- To get revenge. I mean tit for tat. (Just to prove to you they haven't lost their manly edge)
- To see if he can get away with it. (A man has the attitude of what she doesn't know; won't hurt her)
- Lastly, because you have allowed it in the past. How long does it take for history to repeat itself?
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
Well, simply put, it is in our genes - That's what modern scientists have to say of this ageless 'hu-man' trait. By the way, it is not restricted to just men, women too have made their mark in this game of emotional tic-tac-toe.
So, the big question is why do men (and sometimes women) stray off-course in their relationship?
Now here are some startling facts. According to a new study conducted by marriage counselor, M. Gary Neuman, it's estimated that one in 2.7 men will cheat - and most of their will never know about it. What's more astonishing here is, when asked - "What is the number one reason men cheat?", almost 92% men said...
No. It was NOT sex. The majority said, it was an emotional disconnection, specifically a sense of feeling under appreciated. It can be said to be true for women as well, but men top the charts in this field to say the least.
Men are very emotional creatures and the differentiating factor from women is, that they can't explicitly express their emotions in clear terms, ending up giving mixed and confusing signals most of the time. Hence, the lack of correct understanding leads us to be termed emotionless and cold by our women. The secret in understanding men is in reading the signals right.
I have known couples, good friends of mine, straying undeniably in their relationship due to various unconsolable reasons. The primary reason is the lack of a healthy "Work-Life balance". It is one of the primary causes of discord in any relationship. They are just not able to "Invest" quality time with each other. Even if they manage to take time out for each other, their Blackberrys tag along, inflicting further damage.
Solution: Take time out for each other. Work is merely for sustenance, but relationship is a life-long partnership. Do crazy things together, like going on an adventure trail, bird watching (In the real sense), painting your home together etc. Creativity is the key to a long lasting relationship.
The second reason, which arguably stands true, is the lack of appreciation. With daily worries like bills, children and chores, psychologists say its easy for couples to drift away from appreciating one another like they should. Hence, men get instantly attracted to the "other" woman, who often makes the man feel better about himself. He goes weak in the knees, when the "other" women makes him feel different, admired and appreciated. Men look strong, powerful and capable, but on the inside, we are mighty insecure like everybody else. Men are looking for somebody to build them up and make them feel valued. Why can't that be you?
Solution: Don't be afraid to praise your partner or tell him that you appreciate what he does, Gary, the psychologist says, "We get married because we want one person in the world to really think we're wonderful for doing all the things that we do. We all want the same thing," he says. "And the more we give it, the more we get it in return."
Thirdly, when you fall out of love, your chances of losing your man gets higher. Sometimes, men become so comfortable in a relationship, they don't know how to get out. They may be staying in the relationship due to various reasons, like children or financial reasons. However, they feel like they are missing out on love and may seek it out else where.
Solution: Rekindle your relationship. Only love and time heals the deepest of wounds and brings two wayward souls closer to each other.
Other reasons why men cheat:
- Because they had an option. The old saying 'Men are only faithful as their options' can sometime ring true.
- It boosts their ego. Face it. It's got nothing to do with you. Men and their inflated egos can never be contained within four walls.
- Maybe you argue a lot. Men will sometime cheat to get away from an overly critical or argumentative partner.
- To get revenge. I mean tit for tat. (Just to prove to you they haven't lost their manly edge)
- To see if he can get away with it. (A man has the attitude of what she doesn't know; won't hurt her)
- Lastly, because you have allowed it in the past. How long does it take for history to repeat itself?
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Lessons From A Boy Scout
Dear One,
When in school, I was a Boy Scout and it was such a privilege to be one. Those days, it was an unspoken rule; every boy a scout and every little girl a guide. And we loved every bit of it.
Come Friday, we would come dressed in our clean and crisp khaki uniforms, to attend our weekly brotherhood commune in school. The Head Scout - one of our otherwise docile professors would usher us in with great pride and joy into the classroom. On any other working day, he was an unassuming professor of Social Studies, however, on that one special day of the week, he would be transformed into a hero - Our Hero.
The class would begin by us reciting The Oath of Duty -
When in school, I was a Boy Scout and it was such a privilege to be one. Those days, it was an unspoken rule; every boy a scout and every little girl a guide. And we loved every bit of it.
Come Friday, we would come dressed in our clean and crisp khaki uniforms, to attend our weekly brotherhood commune in school. The Head Scout - one of our otherwise docile professors would usher us in with great pride and joy into the classroom. On any other working day, he was an unassuming professor of Social Studies, however, on that one special day of the week, he would be transformed into a hero - Our Hero.
The class would begin by us reciting The Oath of Duty -
- To do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law
- To help other people at all times
- To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight
Those were the days of least technological and social interventions, granting us ample time to invest in ourselves wholeheartedly. I clearly remember, there weren't many a selection of programs on television, so we made friends with nature and it's secrets. Invaluable lessons learnt then, are my building blocks of existence and survival today.
It was actually the after-school hours, in which our characters were moulded by our erstwhile Scout leaders, who took special care to transform us into fine individuals. True education is always outside the classrooms; this I learnt very early. I remember the knots and survival techniques taught in those two hour sessions. Those days were dedicated to character building, where invaluable lessons were learnt to help us survive and succeed the challenge of life.
Many of Scout's lessons are universal as it is applicable for all times and ages. These are some of the lessons I learned being a Boy Scout, through which I successfully transitioned from being a frail, diffident boy to a strong, confident man.
The Scout Law:
Trustworthy
I tell the truth. I keep my promises. Honesty is part of my code of conduct. People can depend on me.
Loyal
I am true to my family, leaders, friends, community and nation.
Helpful
I am concerned about other people. I do things willingly for others without pay or reward.
Friendly
I am a friend to all. I am a brother or sister to others in my group. I seek to understand others. I respect those with ideas and customs other than my own.
Courteous
Loyal
I am true to my family, leaders, friends, community and nation.
Helpful
I am concerned about other people. I do things willingly for others without pay or reward.
Friendly
I am a friend to all. I am a brother or sister to others in my group. I seek to understand others. I respect those with ideas and customs other than my own.
Courteous
I am polite to everyone, regardless of age or position. I know good manners make it easier for people to get along together.
Kind
I understand there is strength in being gentle. I treat others as they want to be treated. I do not hurt or kill harmless things without reason.
Obedient
I follow the rules of my family, group and organization. I obey the laws of my community and country. If I think these rules and laws are unfair, I try to have them changed in an orderly manner rather than disobey them.
Cheerful
Kind
I understand there is strength in being gentle. I treat others as they want to be treated. I do not hurt or kill harmless things without reason.
Obedient
I follow the rules of my family, group and organization. I obey the laws of my community and country. If I think these rules and laws are unfair, I try to have them changed in an orderly manner rather than disobey them.
Cheerful
I look for the bright side of things. I cheerfully do tasks that come my way. I try to make others happy.
Thrifty
Thrifty
I work to pay my way and to help others. I save for unforeseen needs. I protect and conserve natural resources. I carefully use time and property.
Brave
I can face danger even if I am afraid. I have the courage to stand for what I think is right even if others laugh at or threaten me.
Clean
I keep my body and mind fit and clean. I go around with those who believe in living by these same ideals. I help keep my home and community clean.
Reverent
Brave
I can face danger even if I am afraid. I have the courage to stand for what I think is right even if others laugh at or threaten me.
Clean
I keep my body and mind fit and clean. I go around with those who believe in living by these same ideals. I help keep my home and community clean.
Reverent
I am reverent toward God. I am faithful in my religious duties. I respect the beliefs of others.
Being a Boy Scout was the most momentous role of my life. Once a Scout; always a Scout. The way of life, for a Scout is beautifully summarized in it's motto of two simple words - "Be Prepared"
Being a Boy Scout was the most momentous role of my life. Once a Scout; always a Scout. The way of life, for a Scout is beautifully summarized in it's motto of two simple words - "Be Prepared"
Are you?
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
20 Things He Wish She Knew?
Dear One,
This is dedicated to all the girlfriends and wives, who are in a love-hate relationship with men in general; and are clueless on how to decipher this queer Martian species.
So, you accept you are in a relationship with a man from outer space and want to learn his language to communicate better and co-habit in peace. I agree, it can be very irritating for you and your man, to understand each other as you both speak different tongues. When you don't understand a language, the words can seem meaningless, however, the minute you begin to understand it, it can open many doors.
In order, to help you understand our language and make you see things from a man's perspective, I have jotted the following for you. This is a free translation of quips and quotes from a man's "Book of Wants and Do Not Wants." (It ain't a real book...Just F.Y.I)
Alright, to begin with - Every man is more or less the same, but that cannot be said of a woman. We have similar quirks, desires, wants and needs and we inexplicably love everything that makes our life complicated - You included! Of course, you are also one of those rare exceptions, we call - "Sweet Complication." Without you, our life can never become complete.
On behalf of the "Martian Group Of Neglected and Misunderstood Men" (MGONMM), I take this opportunity to write about ourselves and our expectations from girl friends, wife and life in general. You can use these practical pointers to make your relationship, less cluttered and uncomplicated and do the same justice with your men too. Remember, these are not magical incantations to help you gain access into man's secret world of desires and dreams. (Do they even have one? Find out, the twisted meaning of the acronym - "ADIDAS", and you will know what I am talking about.)
The 20 things, He wished She knew are -
Wish 1 : Express yourself. We just can't understand when you embrace silence for no reason.
Wish 2 : If you're truly interested in us, don't play hard to get.
Wish 3 : Let's face it - Shopping is a chore and not an activity.
Wish 4 : When I screw up, go ahead and tell me - ONCE.
Wish 5 : Stop hitting on my guy friends. Alright, hear it - "We are possessive of you." (a.k.a - Jealous)
Wish 6 : Don't be afraid to ditch the makeup. Natural is sexier.
Wish 7 : When the match is on, we will pay attention to you if you're nice about it. Bark, and we shut down.
Wish 8 : We crave hugs and hand-holding too. And no, it doesn't always have to end up in bed.
Wish 9 : We just may lie to make you feel good. Don't be angry about this. (You really weren't looking for truth anyway.)
Wish 10 : When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, we tend to question your intelligence.
Wish 11 : If we offer help while you are getting ready, it means you are late.
Wish 12 : Never ask us to pick your outfit. We just can't differentiate colors.
Wish 13 : When you call us @ work "just to chat," we are not really listening; we are checking our email.
Wish 14 : We don't mind being told we look good. Just don't call us "cute."
Wish 15 : Make us laugh and we'll want to hang around.
Wish 16 : Sure, we like to solve your problems. But a woman who solves her own, while we watch - Instant score.
Wish 17 : We love you even more, because you know we need to go out with the guys once in a while.
Wish 18 : And we love it when you hang with us guys, too.
Wish 19 : Don't rely on us for keeping you up on the daily grape wine.
Wish 20 : Never say, "I know you better than you know yourself." Nobody does.
And one Bonus Wish - Sometimes we wonder why any woman would want to be with us, much less someone as amazing as you. So, thank you for making us better than what we are.
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
P.S - "20 Things She Wish He Knew" is NOT going to be the next post; for even 'The One' who created you, can seldom fathom the depth of His most beautiful creation, so who am I to even try?
This is dedicated to all the girlfriends and wives, who are in a love-hate relationship with men in general; and are clueless on how to decipher this queer Martian species.
So, you accept you are in a relationship with a man from outer space and want to learn his language to communicate better and co-habit in peace. I agree, it can be very irritating for you and your man, to understand each other as you both speak different tongues. When you don't understand a language, the words can seem meaningless, however, the minute you begin to understand it, it can open many doors.
In order, to help you understand our language and make you see things from a man's perspective, I have jotted the following for you. This is a free translation of quips and quotes from a man's "Book of Wants and Do Not Wants." (It ain't a real book...Just F.Y.I)
Alright, to begin with - Every man is more or less the same, but that cannot be said of a woman. We have similar quirks, desires, wants and needs and we inexplicably love everything that makes our life complicated - You included! Of course, you are also one of those rare exceptions, we call - "Sweet Complication." Without you, our life can never become complete.
On behalf of the "Martian Group Of Neglected and Misunderstood Men" (MGONMM), I take this opportunity to write about ourselves and our expectations from girl friends, wife and life in general. You can use these practical pointers to make your relationship, less cluttered and uncomplicated and do the same justice with your men too. Remember, these are not magical incantations to help you gain access into man's secret world of desires and dreams. (Do they even have one? Find out, the twisted meaning of the acronym - "ADIDAS", and you will know what I am talking about.)
The 20 things, He wished She knew are -
Wish 1 : Express yourself. We just can't understand when you embrace silence for no reason.
Wish 2 : If you're truly interested in us, don't play hard to get.
Wish 3 : Let's face it - Shopping is a chore and not an activity.
Wish 4 : When I screw up, go ahead and tell me - ONCE.
Wish 5 : Stop hitting on my guy friends. Alright, hear it - "We are possessive of you." (a.k.a - Jealous)
Wish 6 : Don't be afraid to ditch the makeup. Natural is sexier.
Wish 7 : When the match is on, we will pay attention to you if you're nice about it. Bark, and we shut down.
Wish 8 : We crave hugs and hand-holding too. And no, it doesn't always have to end up in bed.
Wish 9 : We just may lie to make you feel good. Don't be angry about this. (You really weren't looking for truth anyway.)
Wish 10 : When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, we tend to question your intelligence.
Wish 11 : If we offer help while you are getting ready, it means you are late.
Wish 12 : Never ask us to pick your outfit. We just can't differentiate colors.
Wish 13 : When you call us @ work "just to chat," we are not really listening; we are checking our email.
Wish 14 : We don't mind being told we look good. Just don't call us "cute."
Wish 15 : Make us laugh and we'll want to hang around.
Wish 16 : Sure, we like to solve your problems. But a woman who solves her own, while we watch - Instant score.
Wish 17 : We love you even more, because you know we need to go out with the guys once in a while.
Wish 18 : And we love it when you hang with us guys, too.
Wish 19 : Don't rely on us for keeping you up on the daily grape wine.
Wish 20 : Never say, "I know you better than you know yourself." Nobody does.
And one Bonus Wish - Sometimes we wonder why any woman would want to be with us, much less someone as amazing as you. So, thank you for making us better than what we are.
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
P.S - "20 Things She Wish He Knew" is NOT going to be the next post; for even 'The One' who created you, can seldom fathom the depth of His most beautiful creation, so who am I to even try?
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Marriage - A Survival Guide
Dear One,
This post is dedicated to all men, who are planning to go for the kill. (Suicide is a grave offense). Although, I don't have any plans to get married for a few more years, I wish the rest, all the best. As for me, I still stand my ground of exploring myself, before I begin to explore some one else.
What makes me qualified to write something about marriage? True. No bachelor can know the highs and lows of marriage, leave alone writing something about it. (How blessed are we?) To my defense however, I do have some acquired wisdom; seeing many friends and family, surviving the trap of holy matrimony - some doing well and the rest pretending to be all's well.
So, what are the laws of successful marriage.
None.
That's correct, there are no laws for making marriages successful. Laws are mere rules, that are completely inflexible and rigid. Law once broken can never be mended, unlike marriage which is a constant medley of breaking old boundaries and building newer bridges. It is a state of constant evolution and innovation, for both the partners to explore for the rest of their lives. The minute you stop doing that, trouble in paradise begins.
In a world, where the sanctity of marriage is being questioned by the younger generation, in contrast to the yet rigid and orthodox, unforgiving mindsets of the older generation; it is creating an unprecedented war of values between the two.
So with due modifications, there can only be guidelines for successful marriages and no rules or laws. Few of the best ones are as follows -
- Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence. (Just kidding!)
- 3 main ingredients of a successful marriage are: 1. Communication 2. Communication 3. Communication
- Respect one another for the differences as much for the similarities.
- Laugh together and cry much closer. (Be there at both times)
- Don't forget to say "Thank You" to your spouse every time...All the time. (We tend to take each other for granted after marriage)
- Trust more and doubt less. (Doubt kills the strongest of relationships)
- Communicate through words to make your partner understand your silence.
- Intimacy is shared with only one person and that has to be definitely your spouse. (No best friends or soul mate crap)
- Be accountable for yourself and your actions. Don't play the blame game to the next level.
- "Stay-ability" is what is stability - The ability to stay together in all circumstances. (Divorce should never be an option.)
- DO NOT maintain separate bank accounts. Contrary to popular belief, I still believe, every penny earned has to be 'ours' and not just 'mine'.
- Romance the old fashion way. Take time to love each other. (It should be like Test Cricket and not 20-20)
- Share, to show you care.
- Pray together. Couples who kneel together, stand together, for each other.
- Just take it easy and don't rush in to marriage. (Take my lead and enjoy the party till it lasts)
- Lastly, remember - Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Think about it. ;-)
To all my married friends, who keep saying - "Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out"; If you have any other words of married wisdom, do share it with us to save us from a similar plight. (Kidding once again!)
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
This post is dedicated to all men, who are planning to go for the kill. (Suicide is a grave offense). Although, I don't have any plans to get married for a few more years, I wish the rest, all the best. As for me, I still stand my ground of exploring myself, before I begin to explore some one else.
What makes me qualified to write something about marriage? True. No bachelor can know the highs and lows of marriage, leave alone writing something about it. (How blessed are we?) To my defense however, I do have some acquired wisdom; seeing many friends and family, surviving the trap of holy matrimony - some doing well and the rest pretending to be all's well.
So, what are the laws of successful marriage.
None.
That's correct, there are no laws for making marriages successful. Laws are mere rules, that are completely inflexible and rigid. Law once broken can never be mended, unlike marriage which is a constant medley of breaking old boundaries and building newer bridges. It is a state of constant evolution and innovation, for both the partners to explore for the rest of their lives. The minute you stop doing that, trouble in paradise begins.
In a world, where the sanctity of marriage is being questioned by the younger generation, in contrast to the yet rigid and orthodox, unforgiving mindsets of the older generation; it is creating an unprecedented war of values between the two.
So with due modifications, there can only be guidelines for successful marriages and no rules or laws. Few of the best ones are as follows -
- Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence. (Just kidding!)
- 3 main ingredients of a successful marriage are: 1. Communication 2. Communication 3. Communication
- Respect one another for the differences as much for the similarities.
- Laugh together and cry much closer. (Be there at both times)
- Don't forget to say "Thank You" to your spouse every time...All the time. (We tend to take each other for granted after marriage)
- Trust more and doubt less. (Doubt kills the strongest of relationships)
- Communicate through words to make your partner understand your silence.
- Intimacy is shared with only one person and that has to be definitely your spouse. (No best friends or soul mate crap)
- Be accountable for yourself and your actions. Don't play the blame game to the next level.
- "Stay-ability" is what is stability - The ability to stay together in all circumstances. (Divorce should never be an option.)
- DO NOT maintain separate bank accounts. Contrary to popular belief, I still believe, every penny earned has to be 'ours' and not just 'mine'.
- Romance the old fashion way. Take time to love each other. (It should be like Test Cricket and not 20-20)
- Share, to show you care.
- Pray together. Couples who kneel together, stand together, for each other.
- Just take it easy and don't rush in to marriage. (Take my lead and enjoy the party till it lasts)
- Lastly, remember - Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Think about it. ;-)
To all my married friends, who keep saying - "Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out"; If you have any other words of married wisdom, do share it with us to save us from a similar plight. (Kidding once again!)
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
Friday, March 26, 2010
The Day After Yesterday
Dear One,
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
P.S. - Mum/Dad - This was a piece of harmless fiction. It is not intended to hurt anyone's sentiment or feelings. All the characters mentioned in the story are real, and so is the question.
Finally I turn 33.1 - Thirty three years and one day. Whatever!
The scene at home was upbeat yesterday. Mum made dishes reserved only for special occasions, showing off her elite culinary skills and satisfying my ever greedy palette. The entire day was filled with dear friends and not so dear relatives, calling to wish me a great birthday ahead. Overall the day was simply fantastic.
Now came the best part of the day. After all the hullabaloo abated, it was my parents turn to take my birthday to the next level. Finding me happy with the day's proceedings, they sneak closer to me as if going to tell me a long lost family secret of sorts, and endearingly pop a question that could virtually turn a man's world upside down.
"So son", started my mother wistfully; "How was your day?."
The scene at home was upbeat yesterday. Mum made dishes reserved only for special occasions, showing off her elite culinary skills and satisfying my ever greedy palette. The entire day was filled with dear friends and not so dear relatives, calling to wish me a great birthday ahead. Overall the day was simply fantastic.
Now came the best part of the day. After all the hullabaloo abated, it was my parents turn to take my birthday to the next level. Finding me happy with the day's proceedings, they sneak closer to me as if going to tell me a long lost family secret of sorts, and endearingly pop a question that could virtually turn a man's world upside down.
"So son", started my mother wistfully; "How was your day?."
"It was great Ma..." I retort enthusiastically, not anticipating any trouble. (Me and my Birthday stupor)
"So, when are you planning to get married?", bang goes my mother with practiced ease and élan.
"So, when are you planning to get married?", bang goes my mother with practiced ease and élan.
I am too stunned by the suddenness of the question, to give any response. Till then, I was relishing the taste of the traditional kheer, and within seconds, the sweetness just evaporated by my mother's unsweetened and bland words.
With eyes wide open, trying hard not to let the reality of the situation sink in, I clear my throat and ask naively, "What was that Ma?"
"Come on son!", My father joins the conversation, as if backing my mother, "You are now 33 and within another year, you will turn 34..." (Yeah right Dad. As if I didn't know the math)
With eyes wide open, trying hard not to let the reality of the situation sink in, I clear my throat and ask naively, "What was that Ma?"
"Come on son!", My father joins the conversation, as if backing my mother, "You are now 33 and within another year, you will turn 34..." (Yeah right Dad. As if I didn't know the math)
"Haven't you thought of getting married and giving shape to your life?"
Now, I was in deep shit. A bachelor always dreads any invasion of his privacy and freedom by answering such insensitive questions. I try to evade the questions by giving cliché answers that any cornered man would, "You see Dad, I still have to shape up my career and finances, marriage can wait a bit longer. Don't you think so?"
Parents are a smart breed. That's how, I guess we imbue some of the latent smartness in our DNA. My Dad, sensing my clever defense, start to attack me with his emotional gyaan. He goes like, "When I was of your age, I had to take care of so many things, yet I took time to get married to your mum and now you and your sister are the living proofs of our marital success." (Wow! Well done Dad! By the way, what kind of justification was that?)
Now, it was my mother's turn once again to take the lead. Before going any further, I must warn you against one Bio-Chemical weapon, that is most dangerous and potent than a nuke - Tears.
Seeing me firmly stand my ground, my mother finally resorts to her deadly “Tear Wars” – capable of bringing down the mightiest of warriors. I take a cautious stand, as I have seen this in-genuine strategy before on various occasions. Within seconds, without any fore-warning, the tear gates open and a thousand drops of emotional warheads bombard the entire room, making me cringe uneasily on the sofa.
Now, I was in deep shit. A bachelor always dreads any invasion of his privacy and freedom by answering such insensitive questions. I try to evade the questions by giving cliché answers that any cornered man would, "You see Dad, I still have to shape up my career and finances, marriage can wait a bit longer. Don't you think so?"
Parents are a smart breed. That's how, I guess we imbue some of the latent smartness in our DNA. My Dad, sensing my clever defense, start to attack me with his emotional gyaan. He goes like, "When I was of your age, I had to take care of so many things, yet I took time to get married to your mum and now you and your sister are the living proofs of our marital success." (Wow! Well done Dad! By the way, what kind of justification was that?)
Now, it was my mother's turn once again to take the lead. Before going any further, I must warn you against one Bio-Chemical weapon, that is most dangerous and potent than a nuke - Tears.
Seeing me firmly stand my ground, my mother finally resorts to her deadly “Tear Wars” – capable of bringing down the mightiest of warriors. I take a cautious stand, as I have seen this in-genuine strategy before on various occasions. Within seconds, without any fore-warning, the tear gates open and a thousand drops of emotional warheads bombard the entire room, making me cringe uneasily on the sofa.
"I will cry and cry till I succeed", she seem to say inaudibly with a twinkle in her eyes.
I try to reason with her, pointing out my dreams and all the things that I wish to experience before I get tied down in this life-long bondage, called marriage. She pretends to listen to me with still moist eyes and finally declares understandably, "You can do all those and much more even after marriage, right son?". How many poor men have taken this bait and hit the dust hard.
Discouraged by the unexpected turn of events, I look up to a fellow man for support, but Dad was already sold and done. He, with his spectacles safely bridged on his nose, was intently waiting to hear my final reply. I turn my gaze pleadingly towards Mom, who is putting up her best melodramatic performance and efforts to convince me; and then, there is my sister, nonchalantly watching the entire episode with a sly smirk on her face as if it deserves me right.
Confused and clueless, I muster all my reasoning powers and get ready for my last defense; when I suddenly...
Wake up!!!
Wow...It was a stupid dream. Oh! Sweet God, I was only dreaming. What a nightmare?
Dear God! Thank you! Thank you indeed!
I look around frantically as if to confirm my not-so-blessed plight. My mother was in her usual place - the kitchen; my father was busy with his newspaper and my sister was watching me nonchalantly with a smirk on her face. (That's not unusual)
I get up from my afternoon siesta and ask Mum for a cup of coffee. She brings it with an expression that, I thought I had already seen somewhere. She gently places the cup on the table, sits by my side and asks me -
"So, when are you planning to get married?"
Bachaaaaaaaaaaaaaao!!!!
I try to reason with her, pointing out my dreams and all the things that I wish to experience before I get tied down in this life-long bondage, called marriage. She pretends to listen to me with still moist eyes and finally declares understandably, "You can do all those and much more even after marriage, right son?". How many poor men have taken this bait and hit the dust hard.
Discouraged by the unexpected turn of events, I look up to a fellow man for support, but Dad was already sold and done. He, with his spectacles safely bridged on his nose, was intently waiting to hear my final reply. I turn my gaze pleadingly towards Mom, who is putting up her best melodramatic performance and efforts to convince me; and then, there is my sister, nonchalantly watching the entire episode with a sly smirk on her face as if it deserves me right.
Confused and clueless, I muster all my reasoning powers and get ready for my last defense; when I suddenly...
Wake up!!!
Wow...It was a stupid dream. Oh! Sweet God, I was only dreaming. What a nightmare?
Dear God! Thank you! Thank you indeed!
I look around frantically as if to confirm my not-so-blessed plight. My mother was in her usual place - the kitchen; my father was busy with his newspaper and my sister was watching me nonchalantly with a smirk on her face. (That's not unusual)
I get up from my afternoon siesta and ask Mum for a cup of coffee. She brings it with an expression that, I thought I had already seen somewhere. She gently places the cup on the table, sits by my side and asks me -
"So, when are you planning to get married?"
Bachaaaaaaaaaaaaaao!!!!
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
P.S. - Mum/Dad - This was a piece of harmless fiction. It is not intended to hurt anyone's sentiment or feelings. All the characters mentioned in the story are real, and so is the question.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
33 Lessons
Dear One,
My life's journey completes 12053 days today. It's unbelievable to know that you get older by each second, yet only once a year, you take time to celebrate your existence.
Over the years I have learnt many of life's incredible lessons. Some were taught to me by example, and some, I learnt by personal experience. But all of them were worth every penny I spent and now, I am sharing 33 of these with you - one for each year of my eventful life. (You must have figured out by now, that I am indeed 33)
1. Don't accept everything that you hear, see or believe to be true.
2. There are NO ghosts in the dark. It's only in your (and your mom's) mind.
3. You can't fly, even after watching 'Superman - The Movie' a thousand times.
4. Education is vital - Don't forget the lessons, when it is needed the most.
5. Girl friends come and go; don't settle down for the first one you lay your eyes on.
6. Nothing comes free. It's always give and take.
7. There are no best friends - Only A Best Friend.
8. Money makes the world go round; but it's love that makes it stand perfectly still.
9. Listen to your parents. But at times it's best to follow your own heart.
10. Make a career in what you love doing the most. As for the rest, it's called a profession.
11. Don't let circumstances dictate the terms of your happiness.
12. Certificates and trophies can only get you the job. It is your talent that will make you shine.
13. Nothing is out of reach, if you only try.
14. Don't let people (relatives, friends, teachers, parents et al.) decide your response to life.
15. Not all things happen as planned. Be prepared for a detour.
16. When you get a second chance at life; don't complain. Just welcome it with open arms.
17. Never think of ex-girlfriends. They must be married by now and care a shit about you.
18. Read a lot. It makes you think, imagine, believe and transform.
19. Talk to people. Know them and you will end up knowing yourself better.
20. Don't run after titles. It is a temporary back up for those insecure souls.
21. Earn the respect of your fellow beings. It will be your greatest treasure.
22. Excel in one thing, but try out many things without inhibitions.
23. Never break someone's dream by pointing out the reality. It ain't worth it.
24. Treat people with dignity and they will do the same to you.
25. Before owning a dog, check out it's "Bark-O-Level". (It's a huge neighbor's nuisance)
26. A boss can never take the place of a best friend. Know that and have a great time @ work.
27. Don't trust people blindly and end up blaming them for not living up to it.
28. Once in a while, pack your bags and get out all alone to explore the world you live in.
29. Loving someone deeply, doesn't guarantee an equal pay back.
30. Forgive & Forget. Do not keep any grudges against anyone. You end up hurting yourself more.
31. Don't complicate life by trying to understand it. Just be strong enough to live it.
32. Marry someone who has a great smile and whacky humor. You will smile through life for sure.
33. Be happy. Everything else is secondary.
Please do keep me in your prayers. Thank you!
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
My life's journey completes 12053 days today. It's unbelievable to know that you get older by each second, yet only once a year, you take time to celebrate your existence.
Over the years I have learnt many of life's incredible lessons. Some were taught to me by example, and some, I learnt by personal experience. But all of them were worth every penny I spent and now, I am sharing 33 of these with you - one for each year of my eventful life. (You must have figured out by now, that I am indeed 33)
1. Don't accept everything that you hear, see or believe to be true.
2. There are NO ghosts in the dark. It's only in your (and your mom's) mind.
3. You can't fly, even after watching 'Superman - The Movie' a thousand times.
4. Education is vital - Don't forget the lessons, when it is needed the most.
5. Girl friends come and go; don't settle down for the first one you lay your eyes on.
6. Nothing comes free. It's always give and take.
7. There are no best friends - Only A Best Friend.
8. Money makes the world go round; but it's love that makes it stand perfectly still.
9. Listen to your parents. But at times it's best to follow your own heart.
10. Make a career in what you love doing the most. As for the rest, it's called a profession.
11. Don't let circumstances dictate the terms of your happiness.
12. Certificates and trophies can only get you the job. It is your talent that will make you shine.
13. Nothing is out of reach, if you only try.
14. Don't let people (relatives, friends, teachers, parents et al.) decide your response to life.
15. Not all things happen as planned. Be prepared for a detour.
16. When you get a second chance at life; don't complain. Just welcome it with open arms.
17. Never think of ex-girlfriends. They must be married by now and care a shit about you.
18. Read a lot. It makes you think, imagine, believe and transform.
19. Talk to people. Know them and you will end up knowing yourself better.
20. Don't run after titles. It is a temporary back up for those insecure souls.
21. Earn the respect of your fellow beings. It will be your greatest treasure.
22. Excel in one thing, but try out many things without inhibitions.
23. Never break someone's dream by pointing out the reality. It ain't worth it.
24. Treat people with dignity and they will do the same to you.
25. Before owning a dog, check out it's "Bark-O-Level". (It's a huge neighbor's nuisance)
26. A boss can never take the place of a best friend. Know that and have a great time @ work.
27. Don't trust people blindly and end up blaming them for not living up to it.
28. Once in a while, pack your bags and get out all alone to explore the world you live in.
29. Loving someone deeply, doesn't guarantee an equal pay back.
30. Forgive & Forget. Do not keep any grudges against anyone. You end up hurting yourself more.
31. Don't complicate life by trying to understand it. Just be strong enough to live it.
32. Marry someone who has a great smile and whacky humor. You will smile through life for sure.
33. Be happy. Everything else is secondary.
Please do keep me in your prayers. Thank you!
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
The Legend Of Ram
Dear One,
'Ram... Ram... Ram... Ram...' was the constant utterance in the lips of the dying King Dasharatha of Ayodhya. He was heart broken over his decision to send his beloved son Ram in to exile, fulfilling a blind promise he had made long ago to his beautiful queen. Repenting over his own his vile decision, the King's saddened heart gave away and he breathed his last, uttering the name of his beloved Ram. Death becomes acceptable to those who don't have a purpose to live.
In an another corner of the vast palace, two virtuous mothers were shedding tears - one out of joy and the other out of despair. One had gained favor with the King on behalf of her son, the other had lost her only son for fourteen years and all her hopes too died with it.
Of the four brothers, Ram was the eldest and the wisest. The other three had their own unique qualities, but Ram was set in a different mould altogether. He was what the others were not - Divine. He had an equally virtuous wife, named Sita. Ram had chosen a nomadic life for the next 14 years, to honor his father's words and Sita chose to follow her husband dutifully - In pleasure or in pain.
His half-brother, Laxmana, knew his destiny lay woven with Ram's and decided to follow in his brother's foot steps. A choice that was to fulfill an age old prophecy - the collaboration of Man and God to vanquish evil. So Ram, Sita and Laxmana set out on a journey of a lifetime, and for 14 years they were to be tried and tested in the fires of life and death.
Ram's epic life was a testament of duty, sacrifice and responsibility; he lived his life as another man, only to be recognized as God. The story of Ramayan, in truth is the story of man in search of his own divinity. It shows us the way to lead a life of piety, and transform ourselves into a reflection of the Divine. Divinity, is simply the lack of banal human traits such as hatred, jealousy, anger, lust, greed etc. making one Divine. The journey of attainting the state of inner purity is man's true pilgrimage.
Ram was an impeccable ruler of his time. It is said, in his time, no one ever was found to be wanting and sad. Life was lived to the fullest, with divine qualities manifesting in each one of them. It was rightfully called the Golden Age of Indian civilization.
Ramayana is the story of Man, God and His Creative principle. Ram is the symbolic representation of all things Divine; Laxmana, everything human and Sita, the connecting link between the two. These three form an inexplicable bond of existence and they are inseparable and inter-linked in nature. They cannot exist without the other. Ram, the pinnacle of divinity; Laxmana, is the essence of man's quest to attain that supreme state, and Sita, the deciding principle to grant us that glory.
In retrospect, life is filled with only two choices - right or wrong. The choices you make, decides your fate. Laxmana, too had a choice - either to stay back and enjoy all the pleasures of the princely life or accept a life of virtuous peril in the company of Ram. He chose Ram over the world, only to be filled with endless joy.
How often as humans, we make wrong decisions, that grants us temporary satisfaction, but deprives us a life time of true happiness. Following Laxmana's example, let us too, embrace the Divine for the mundane and never lose hope in this forest of life. Many wild animals prowl in the open to take you down, but if you follow the virtuous life of Ram, you shall remain unscathed and unharmed by the perils of life. Sita, or the creative principle of God, will assist and protect you in every step you take towards attaining that supreme state of being.
This is the untold secret of Ramayana. Man is capable of attaining the Divine, by the kind of choices he makes. Temporary grief can be a harbinger of eternal peace. Choose the right side of life, and everything will be all right. Make the life of Ram, an example to shape your own. Remember, He was, what we are not - a man who unknowingly became an aspect of God.
In celebration of Ram and his exemplary life - Jai Sri Ram!
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
'Ram... Ram... Ram... Ram...' was the constant utterance in the lips of the dying King Dasharatha of Ayodhya. He was heart broken over his decision to send his beloved son Ram in to exile, fulfilling a blind promise he had made long ago to his beautiful queen. Repenting over his own his vile decision, the King's saddened heart gave away and he breathed his last, uttering the name of his beloved Ram. Death becomes acceptable to those who don't have a purpose to live.
In an another corner of the vast palace, two virtuous mothers were shedding tears - one out of joy and the other out of despair. One had gained favor with the King on behalf of her son, the other had lost her only son for fourteen years and all her hopes too died with it.
Of the four brothers, Ram was the eldest and the wisest. The other three had their own unique qualities, but Ram was set in a different mould altogether. He was what the others were not - Divine. He had an equally virtuous wife, named Sita. Ram had chosen a nomadic life for the next 14 years, to honor his father's words and Sita chose to follow her husband dutifully - In pleasure or in pain.
His half-brother, Laxmana, knew his destiny lay woven with Ram's and decided to follow in his brother's foot steps. A choice that was to fulfill an age old prophecy - the collaboration of Man and God to vanquish evil. So Ram, Sita and Laxmana set out on a journey of a lifetime, and for 14 years they were to be tried and tested in the fires of life and death.
Ram's epic life was a testament of duty, sacrifice and responsibility; he lived his life as another man, only to be recognized as God. The story of Ramayan, in truth is the story of man in search of his own divinity. It shows us the way to lead a life of piety, and transform ourselves into a reflection of the Divine. Divinity, is simply the lack of banal human traits such as hatred, jealousy, anger, lust, greed etc. making one Divine. The journey of attainting the state of inner purity is man's true pilgrimage.
Ram was an impeccable ruler of his time. It is said, in his time, no one ever was found to be wanting and sad. Life was lived to the fullest, with divine qualities manifesting in each one of them. It was rightfully called the Golden Age of Indian civilization.
Ramayana is the story of Man, God and His Creative principle. Ram is the symbolic representation of all things Divine; Laxmana, everything human and Sita, the connecting link between the two. These three form an inexplicable bond of existence and they are inseparable and inter-linked in nature. They cannot exist without the other. Ram, the pinnacle of divinity; Laxmana, is the essence of man's quest to attain that supreme state, and Sita, the deciding principle to grant us that glory.
In retrospect, life is filled with only two choices - right or wrong. The choices you make, decides your fate. Laxmana, too had a choice - either to stay back and enjoy all the pleasures of the princely life or accept a life of virtuous peril in the company of Ram. He chose Ram over the world, only to be filled with endless joy.
How often as humans, we make wrong decisions, that grants us temporary satisfaction, but deprives us a life time of true happiness. Following Laxmana's example, let us too, embrace the Divine for the mundane and never lose hope in this forest of life. Many wild animals prowl in the open to take you down, but if you follow the virtuous life of Ram, you shall remain unscathed and unharmed by the perils of life. Sita, or the creative principle of God, will assist and protect you in every step you take towards attaining that supreme state of being.
This is the untold secret of Ramayana. Man is capable of attaining the Divine, by the kind of choices he makes. Temporary grief can be a harbinger of eternal peace. Choose the right side of life, and everything will be all right. Make the life of Ram, an example to shape your own. Remember, He was, what we are not - a man who unknowingly became an aspect of God.
In celebration of Ram and his exemplary life - Jai Sri Ram!
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Difficult People @ Work
Dear One,
Have you come across someone who is very difficult to deal with, and you are clueless of your next step; pensive and not wanting to end up hurting them, although your own condition is equally pitiable?
You might wonder, why some people are so difficult to deal with and what is their god damn problem in life. Especially, if your professional luck fails, you are blessed with a difficult, cranky boss. Then your life is a roller coaster of emotional upheavals and downturns. Well, the mood and behavior of the people working close to you, does invariably affect your own. They tend to rub off their high strung qualities on to you and slowly you too become a hazy reflection of them. So what's the way out?
Firstly, we need to understand, why they are the way they are?
There is no such category of people as difficult people and not-so-difficult people. There’s a category of happy people and unhappy people. Happy people are always easy to work with; unhappy people are always difficult to work with. Someone has become difficult because in some way he’s unhappy. Unless you’re able to see that, and do the necessary correction, all the life situations you may not be able to fix.
You will see whenever you find, or if you catch a person in his happy mood, he is always a wonderful person to meet, he’s always a wonderful person to work with. But if you happen to catch him in an unhappy mood, then he’s a very, very difficult person to work with. It simply means, when boss's is happy - you speak; when unhappy - keep quiet ;-)
Over the years, I too have learned a few survival techniques as a boss and as a sub-ordinate, and they are listed here to help many a flustered souls.
1. Don't mix personal & professional
This is the rule of thumb. Never cross professional boundaries to make your relationship hinge on the personal. It will only spell
D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R. Always remember - 'Once a boss, always a boss'. Don't try to get up close and personal with your boss, as it never works in the long run, contrary to all popular beliefs.
2. Let people know the result of their actions
When colleagues miss deadlines, let them know the impact: 'If you don't get it to me until tomorrow, that means we won't have time to check it before the actual presentation,' or whatever. And make sure the impact is in relation to them, not you.
3. Talk in person or by phone
It's notoriously easy to hit the wrong tone and come off sharp, imperious or brusque in email when you don't intend to. Use the phone or drop by their desk when addressing sensitive issues.
4. Be brief
When discussing problems, keep it short and direct. It minimizes a stressful situation for both of you.
5. Handle a whiner with tact
You aren't going to cure a whiner, but you might be able to cure her of talking to you. Don't ask open-ended questions, not even 'How are you?' Limit your greetings to 'good morning' and 'good evening.' And be busy -- all the time.
6. Do your homework
When you go to your boss with an issue or problem, make a list of the specifics you want to address, research the issue and get your facts right. When you have everything ready, schedule a meeting, and be cool and professional.
7. Don't complain
Watch what you say to anyone at work. The only reason to bring up negative issues is to create a plan for correcting them. Complaining for the sake of complaining can alienate colleagues and create a bad environment.
8. Let go of your anger
Sometimes it's hard to get past your own feelings of anger or hurt and your need to get them out. Write how you feel in a letter and mail it to yourself, or keep it at home. Then resolve to put your anger aside. If you're curious in a couple of months, read the letter. You may be surprised at how those feelings have changed.
9. Don't take it personally
Recognize that a criticism of your work is not a criticism of you, and don't let it damage your self-esteem.
10. Stick to the points
Whenever you have to discuss something with a difficult coworker, write down three to five main points, and stick to them. Even if they get off the subject and start saying nasty things, always come back to your main points. That way, you avoid getting embroiled in an argument.
Have you come across someone who is very difficult to deal with, and you are clueless of your next step; pensive and not wanting to end up hurting them, although your own condition is equally pitiable?
You might wonder, why some people are so difficult to deal with and what is their god damn problem in life. Especially, if your professional luck fails, you are blessed with a difficult, cranky boss. Then your life is a roller coaster of emotional upheavals and downturns. Well, the mood and behavior of the people working close to you, does invariably affect your own. They tend to rub off their high strung qualities on to you and slowly you too become a hazy reflection of them. So what's the way out?
Firstly, we need to understand, why they are the way they are?
There is no such category of people as difficult people and not-so-difficult people. There’s a category of happy people and unhappy people. Happy people are always easy to work with; unhappy people are always difficult to work with. Someone has become difficult because in some way he’s unhappy. Unless you’re able to see that, and do the necessary correction, all the life situations you may not be able to fix.
You will see whenever you find, or if you catch a person in his happy mood, he is always a wonderful person to meet, he’s always a wonderful person to work with. But if you happen to catch him in an unhappy mood, then he’s a very, very difficult person to work with. It simply means, when boss's is happy - you speak; when unhappy - keep quiet ;-)
Over the years, I too have learned a few survival techniques as a boss and as a sub-ordinate, and they are listed here to help many a flustered souls.
1. Don't mix personal & professional
This is the rule of thumb. Never cross professional boundaries to make your relationship hinge on the personal. It will only spell
D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R. Always remember - 'Once a boss, always a boss'. Don't try to get up close and personal with your boss, as it never works in the long run, contrary to all popular beliefs.
When colleagues miss deadlines, let them know the impact: 'If you don't get it to me until tomorrow, that means we won't have time to check it before the actual presentation,' or whatever. And make sure the impact is in relation to them, not you.
It's notoriously easy to hit the wrong tone and come off sharp, imperious or brusque in email when you don't intend to. Use the phone or drop by their desk when addressing sensitive issues.
When discussing problems, keep it short and direct. It minimizes a stressful situation for both of you.
You aren't going to cure a whiner, but you might be able to cure her of talking to you. Don't ask open-ended questions, not even 'How are you?' Limit your greetings to 'good morning' and 'good evening.' And be busy -- all the time.
6. Do your homework
When you go to your boss with an issue or problem, make a list of the specifics you want to address, research the issue and get your facts right. When you have everything ready, schedule a meeting, and be cool and professional.
7. Don't complain
Watch what you say to anyone at work. The only reason to bring up negative issues is to create a plan for correcting them. Complaining for the sake of complaining can alienate colleagues and create a bad environment.
8. Let go of your anger
Sometimes it's hard to get past your own feelings of anger or hurt and your need to get them out. Write how you feel in a letter and mail it to yourself, or keep it at home. Then resolve to put your anger aside. If you're curious in a couple of months, read the letter. You may be surprised at how those feelings have changed.
9. Don't take it personally
Recognize that a criticism of your work is not a criticism of you, and don't let it damage your self-esteem.
10. Stick to the points
Whenever you have to discuss something with a difficult coworker, write down three to five main points, and stick to them. Even if they get off the subject and start saying nasty things, always come back to your main points. That way, you avoid getting embroiled in an argument.
Lastly, every business house, every corporation, every group of people who work together, who intend to work together, should create a culture of peace and happiness in the workplace. If this has to happen, this needs to happen within each individual first.
Happy bossing and good luck being bossed around!
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
P.S - I have some more ammo left in my arsenal to share; will do it some other time.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Musings On Success
Dear One,
Another icon bites the dust hard - posthumously.
This time it's was the King of Rock n Roll himself - Elvis Presley. Recent news say, he wasn't what he was portrayed to be; suave and gentlemanly. Instead, he had a dark side, safely hidden away from the eyes of prying public, manned successfully by his closest associates. Now 32 years after his death, old vicious ghosts are reappearing from his legendary grave. A new book claims, he was a hopeless womanizer, and even at 40, he loved incessant romping sessions with teen age girls, aged 14.
Elvis was a classic example of rags to riches story. Born in abject poverty, he rose to meteoric heights even before 24. He was very handsome, extremely rich and famous, a human magnet for women and had an entire nation eating from his hands. That's all is required to consummate your ultimate success. Or is it?
It makes me wonder, does all the fame and fortune in the world really make you successful. Is it the yard stick to measure the fructification of innumerable hours of hard work and toil in pursuit of success? I know success is subjective as for each one of us, the definition of success varies. But most of us these days, equate success with the quality of our own spending capabilities. Money power, we think, definitely makes one powerful and successful.
I humbly beg to differ. What's the use of so much money, if you have to lose your peace of mind and freedom forever. We give glorious examples of stars and celebrities who are highly successful and lead a life of glamour and luxury, all 365 days a year. But, behind the scene, it's a different story altogether. I had my career stint with the entertainment sector for some time, and the real story of these stars and starlets is utterly horrifying. They pretend to be happy and blissfully unconcerned, whereas the truth is highly fabricated and far beyond their self-comforting lies.
Most of these stars and high fliers, are highly deplorable and desolate as they just can't handle their own successes. Instead, it is skillfully dictated by their all-powerful Managers. They are so dependent on their secretaries or managers, that they completely forget, they have a mind and life of their own. Glamour and fame takes a heavy toll on these celebrities, wanting them to run far away. Unfortunately, the taste of fame and fortune lingers for a long time to come, making them it's prized slave. They are pitiable souls who can't seem to live with it or even more, live without it in peace. They count their blessings as a curse in disguise.
So what is true success, anyway?
Success for me personally, is to stop worrying about tomorrow and start living today as if there is no tomorrow. Money is just a means to achieve success. A vehicle is for transporting us from one destination to another; but when we insist to tag it along to every nook and corner, it becomes a meaningless obsession. We too, are obsessed in some way or the other. We want to 'possess' almost everything for ourselves, not letting others even to dream of them. In this rat race of money and power, I believe, the true measure of success has lost its true identity. Success is now masked in name, fame, money, power, status and prestige.
However, success for me, is to hold on to things that really matter and fearlessly letting go of those that don't. Success, should not confine you to it's limiting walls; instead it should open your hands and hearts to reach out to the less fortunate. I do not equate my success to what or who I work for, not even to the professional titles that have been conferred upon me from time to time. In fact, success is simply how I work and what becomes of me as a person.
In our pursuit towards immortality, let us always remember that success, like attitude, is a state of mind and not the state of our pockets. The measure of true success is in the number of genuine smiles that flash across your face, the precious moments you get to spend with loved ones, the comfort of a peaceful night's sleep after a hard day's work, making others smile in unison, doing absolutely nothing sometimes and just being who you are and not pretending what others want you to be. That is success. (You are free to differ in view!)
Money and success, may not necessarily complement each other. It is in our wisdom to differentiate both and enjoy it wisely. Be happy. Be successful.
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
Another icon bites the dust hard - posthumously.
This time it's was the King of Rock n Roll himself - Elvis Presley. Recent news say, he wasn't what he was portrayed to be; suave and gentlemanly. Instead, he had a dark side, safely hidden away from the eyes of prying public, manned successfully by his closest associates. Now 32 years after his death, old vicious ghosts are reappearing from his legendary grave. A new book claims, he was a hopeless womanizer, and even at 40, he loved incessant romping sessions with teen age girls, aged 14.
Elvis was a classic example of rags to riches story. Born in abject poverty, he rose to meteoric heights even before 24. He was very handsome, extremely rich and famous, a human magnet for women and had an entire nation eating from his hands. That's all is required to consummate your ultimate success. Or is it?
It makes me wonder, does all the fame and fortune in the world really make you successful. Is it the yard stick to measure the fructification of innumerable hours of hard work and toil in pursuit of success? I know success is subjective as for each one of us, the definition of success varies. But most of us these days, equate success with the quality of our own spending capabilities. Money power, we think, definitely makes one powerful and successful.
I humbly beg to differ. What's the use of so much money, if you have to lose your peace of mind and freedom forever. We give glorious examples of stars and celebrities who are highly successful and lead a life of glamour and luxury, all 365 days a year. But, behind the scene, it's a different story altogether. I had my career stint with the entertainment sector for some time, and the real story of these stars and starlets is utterly horrifying. They pretend to be happy and blissfully unconcerned, whereas the truth is highly fabricated and far beyond their self-comforting lies.
Most of these stars and high fliers, are highly deplorable and desolate as they just can't handle their own successes. Instead, it is skillfully dictated by their all-powerful Managers. They are so dependent on their secretaries or managers, that they completely forget, they have a mind and life of their own. Glamour and fame takes a heavy toll on these celebrities, wanting them to run far away. Unfortunately, the taste of fame and fortune lingers for a long time to come, making them it's prized slave. They are pitiable souls who can't seem to live with it or even more, live without it in peace. They count their blessings as a curse in disguise.
So what is true success, anyway?
Success for me personally, is to stop worrying about tomorrow and start living today as if there is no tomorrow. Money is just a means to achieve success. A vehicle is for transporting us from one destination to another; but when we insist to tag it along to every nook and corner, it becomes a meaningless obsession. We too, are obsessed in some way or the other. We want to 'possess' almost everything for ourselves, not letting others even to dream of them. In this rat race of money and power, I believe, the true measure of success has lost its true identity. Success is now masked in name, fame, money, power, status and prestige.
However, success for me, is to hold on to things that really matter and fearlessly letting go of those that don't. Success, should not confine you to it's limiting walls; instead it should open your hands and hearts to reach out to the less fortunate. I do not equate my success to what or who I work for, not even to the professional titles that have been conferred upon me from time to time. In fact, success is simply how I work and what becomes of me as a person.
In our pursuit towards immortality, let us always remember that success, like attitude, is a state of mind and not the state of our pockets. The measure of true success is in the number of genuine smiles that flash across your face, the precious moments you get to spend with loved ones, the comfort of a peaceful night's sleep after a hard day's work, making others smile in unison, doing absolutely nothing sometimes and just being who you are and not pretending what others want you to be. That is success. (You are free to differ in view!)
Money and success, may not necessarily complement each other. It is in our wisdom to differentiate both and enjoy it wisely. Be happy. Be successful.
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
83 Problems
Dear One,
The Budhha, conveyed simple truths very simply, through simple stories. One such story is -
Once a farmer went to tell the Buddha about his problems. He described his difficulties about farming – how either droughts or monsoons complicated his work. He told the Buddha about his wife – how even though he loved her, there were certain things about her he wished to change. Likewise with his children – yes, he loved them, but they weren’t turning out quite the way he wanted. When he was finished, he asked how the Buddha could help him with his problems.
The Buddha replied, “I’m sorry but I can’t help you.”
“What do you mean?” railed the farmer. “You’re supposed to be a great teacher!”
The Buddha replied, “Sir, it’s like this. All human beings have eighty-three problems. It’s a fact of life. Sure, a few problems will go away now and then, but soon enough others will arise. So we’ll always have eighty-three problems.”
The farmer responded indignantly, “Then what’s the good of all your teaching?”
The Buddha said, “My teaching can’t help with the eighty-three problems, but it can help with the eighty-fourth problem.”
What’s that?” asked the farmer.
“The eighty-fourth problem is that we don’t want to have any problems.”
Although we may not realise it, we all have a deep-seated belief that if we practice long and hard enough, our problems will go away. And beneath that belief lies an even deeper one: that our life should be free from pain.
Although these beliefs are what bring us to practice, a life free of difficulties is not what practice is about. Practice is about becoming awake to the truth of who we are. As we practice, our relationship to our problems may, in fact, become less burdened. But as conditioned beings, living in a messy world, we will always have difficulties. We will always have eighty-three problems.
The Buddha replied, “I’m sorry but I can’t help you.”
“What do you mean?” railed the farmer. “You’re supposed to be a great teacher!”
The Buddha replied, “Sir, it’s like this. All human beings have eighty-three problems. It’s a fact of life. Sure, a few problems will go away now and then, but soon enough others will arise. So we’ll always have eighty-three problems.”
The farmer responded indignantly, “Then what’s the good of all your teaching?”
The Buddha said, “My teaching can’t help with the eighty-three problems, but it can help with the eighty-fourth problem.”
What’s that?” asked the farmer.
“The eighty-fourth problem is that we don’t want to have any problems.”
Although we may not realise it, we all have a deep-seated belief that if we practice long and hard enough, our problems will go away. And beneath that belief lies an even deeper one: that our life should be free from pain.
Although these beliefs are what bring us to practice, a life free of difficulties is not what practice is about. Practice is about becoming awake to the truth of who we are. As we practice, our relationship to our problems may, in fact, become less burdened. But as conditioned beings, living in a messy world, we will always have difficulties. We will always have eighty-three problems.
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Questions & Answers
Dear One,
Every question has an answer. But who bothers to ask the right questions at the first place?
Look at nature and it's limitless mysteries. It is spilling with answers for the one who asks the right questions. All modern and ancient inventions/discoveries were the result of some inquisitive soul asking the right questions, and patiently pursuing for an apt answer. Yesterday's questions are today's answers.
Childhood is a phase of Q&A, that leaves you spell bound with sheer magic. To see and know something for the first time is a rare pleasure indeed. My childhood too was such a story. A story filled with many questions and a few puzzling answers.
I was an inquisitive and a questioning child. My mind raced with curiosity to know the answers to all my questions. What makes the sun glow so bright? How come I am dark and my sister fair in complexion? Why is it cold at night and warm in the morning? When shall I drive my uncle's scooter? All these childish questions and much more were constantly buzzing inside my head. At times, I thought of them aloud, and at other times, I used to whisper quietly under my nose. A child has an unique way of living and sharing it's dreams through questions and answers. Parents often fail to understand the question or least answer them, thereby depriving the child to question anymore. The play of Q&A kindles your child's imagination and paints it with vivid colors to later behold it in wonder.
How, What, Where, When and Why were my five best friends. My parents soon became tried with this irritating habit of mine; so to keep me off at arms length, they bribed me with chocolates or comic books. I too got momentarily pacified by their sudden bursts of affection, only to come back with many more questions for them to answer. My parents are a simple breed; quite oblivious to modern advances of thought and technology. And I am proud of them, for they lead a contended and an uncomplicated life, without many questions to answer.
As I grew, my school teachers were my new found Q&A targets. I would ask them hundreds of questions, not to test their knowledge, but to humbly improve mine. Although I was not academically bright, but my voracious appetite for knowledge balanced the scorecard. Questioning helped me to learn more, than what they actually taught. My teachers were livid, yet wondered aloud about the boy who asked a countless questions.
I had many questions to ask, but received very few calming answers. Within the passing of a few adolescent years, I stopped asking those fleeting questions too. That was the day, I stopped learning and started agreeing. You see, matters of the mind take a back seat, when matters of the heart takes the forefront. Just kidding, but we all come to a stage where we stop questioning and start agreeing due to various reasons. And that stunts our mental growth in no small measure.
Pursuit of knowledge is a tricky path and it has it's own repercussions. It either swells up your head and make you think you are a step above the rest or it makes you humble and wonder in awe at it's sheer inexhaustible vastness. Thankfully I chose the later. I never wanted to have a big head anyway.
Today's younger generation are an eclectic mix of knowledge starved citizens. Technology too, seem to be supporting them at every step. Teachers are in the phase of due extinction, as technology is doing its part seamlessly. Thanks to Google, teachers one day will be just assisting the class and not taking it. Today's parents can't even think of answering the questions posed by the little tots, as they are way above our common intelligence. So the next best way to redeem ourselves, is to keep a check on the inflow of knowledge.
Encourage the young to ask questions; even if you don't have the answers. Do not snub them or lecture them for not knowing the answers instead. Remember today's questions will be tomorrows answers and if they don't question you today, they will become a breed of subservient men and women who will agree to everything that's imposed on them, without any resistance. Think of our generation and the past ones too. The birth of a revolution was because of a simple question. Someone had the guts to ask the question and that simple gesture sparked the historic events of the day. History recognizes and applauds only such questioning individuals. The rest just fade away unquestioningly.
Take the cue and question yourself and others. Not for proving yourself right, but for making yourself all right.
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
Every question has an answer. But who bothers to ask the right questions at the first place?
Look at nature and it's limitless mysteries. It is spilling with answers for the one who asks the right questions. All modern and ancient inventions/discoveries were the result of some inquisitive soul asking the right questions, and patiently pursuing for an apt answer. Yesterday's questions are today's answers.
Childhood is a phase of Q&A, that leaves you spell bound with sheer magic. To see and know something for the first time is a rare pleasure indeed. My childhood too was such a story. A story filled with many questions and a few puzzling answers.
I was an inquisitive and a questioning child. My mind raced with curiosity to know the answers to all my questions. What makes the sun glow so bright? How come I am dark and my sister fair in complexion? Why is it cold at night and warm in the morning? When shall I drive my uncle's scooter? All these childish questions and much more were constantly buzzing inside my head. At times, I thought of them aloud, and at other times, I used to whisper quietly under my nose. A child has an unique way of living and sharing it's dreams through questions and answers. Parents often fail to understand the question or least answer them, thereby depriving the child to question anymore. The play of Q&A kindles your child's imagination and paints it with vivid colors to later behold it in wonder.
How, What, Where, When and Why were my five best friends. My parents soon became tried with this irritating habit of mine; so to keep me off at arms length, they bribed me with chocolates or comic books. I too got momentarily pacified by their sudden bursts of affection, only to come back with many more questions for them to answer. My parents are a simple breed; quite oblivious to modern advances of thought and technology. And I am proud of them, for they lead a contended and an uncomplicated life, without many questions to answer.
As I grew, my school teachers were my new found Q&A targets. I would ask them hundreds of questions, not to test their knowledge, but to humbly improve mine. Although I was not academically bright, but my voracious appetite for knowledge balanced the scorecard. Questioning helped me to learn more, than what they actually taught. My teachers were livid, yet wondered aloud about the boy who asked a countless questions.
I had many questions to ask, but received very few calming answers. Within the passing of a few adolescent years, I stopped asking those fleeting questions too. That was the day, I stopped learning and started agreeing. You see, matters of the mind take a back seat, when matters of the heart takes the forefront. Just kidding, but we all come to a stage where we stop questioning and start agreeing due to various reasons. And that stunts our mental growth in no small measure.
Pursuit of knowledge is a tricky path and it has it's own repercussions. It either swells up your head and make you think you are a step above the rest or it makes you humble and wonder in awe at it's sheer inexhaustible vastness. Thankfully I chose the later. I never wanted to have a big head anyway.
Today's younger generation are an eclectic mix of knowledge starved citizens. Technology too, seem to be supporting them at every step. Teachers are in the phase of due extinction, as technology is doing its part seamlessly. Thanks to Google, teachers one day will be just assisting the class and not taking it. Today's parents can't even think of answering the questions posed by the little tots, as they are way above our common intelligence. So the next best way to redeem ourselves, is to keep a check on the inflow of knowledge.
Encourage the young to ask questions; even if you don't have the answers. Do not snub them or lecture them for not knowing the answers instead. Remember today's questions will be tomorrows answers and if they don't question you today, they will become a breed of subservient men and women who will agree to everything that's imposed on them, without any resistance. Think of our generation and the past ones too. The birth of a revolution was because of a simple question. Someone had the guts to ask the question and that simple gesture sparked the historic events of the day. History recognizes and applauds only such questioning individuals. The rest just fade away unquestioningly.
Take the cue and question yourself and others. Not for proving yourself right, but for making yourself all right.
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Bombay Meri Jaan!
Dear One,
It's 6.30 a.m in the morning and I am woken up by the blaring bursts of busy vehicles, in a mad rush to reach their points of destination. Welcome to Bombay! - The city that never sleeps, and also, the city that doesn't allow anyone to sleep peacefully either. (I prefer calling it Bombay, for nostalgic reasons. You are free to interpret it as Mumbai!)
My humble home is bang adjacent to the Expressway, and it's an assorted predicament of sorts. Vehicles small or big make it a point to blare their deafening horns 24/7, as if to tell me the world has found it's rightful expression; and now, it's high time I find mine.
The truth about Bombay, was beautifully sung by Mohd. Rafi, in the 1956 song - 'Bombay Meri Jaan'. It seems, the situation, way back in 1956, was not unlike what we face today; the same old traffic and the same old insanity to achieve something of everything. Is this what you call ambition? To gain everything; only to lose your peace of mind.
When I sit back and watch the usual swarm of people go about doing their "responsibilities", I feel so saddened by the incessant madness to achieve something at the cost of losing everything. We seem to have everything under control, yet one thing runs common in all of us - we don't have time. We are abject workaholics, who spend their prime time in working and the other half in thinking about work. What a blessed waste of time?
We are leading a life that's leading us no where at all. We are always pretending to be busy and rarely manage to come up with a genuine smile of content - all we care is for more and a bit some more. Happiness, as someone rightly observed, is not in having all that you want, but it's in wanting what you already have. We lose so many invaluable moments in this bargain. We miss out on the simplest pleasures like, seeing our children grow or favorably being there with our aged parents and gift them the greatest gift money can't buy - Love. But, we are so involved with ourselves, that everything else can afford to wait. What a misguided life this can be?
I have often heard people say; that whatever they are doing is for someone or the other and not for themselves. That's the greatest lie we end up telling ourselves. At the end of the day, you are your own sweet sustenance. You eat and sleep for yourself, no one does that for you. Likewise, you live for yourself and no one else can do it for you or you for someone else. The fact of the matter is, most of us don't know what we really want from our life. Earning money is not the primary goal. Money is just the means to get there. But we become so deluded with the means, that we start believing it to be the end itself.
Bombay is bleeding. It want's rest from the humdrum of such a fast monotonous life. You too are inadvertently bleeding. You need to slow down and savor life from time to time. Take a break, explore something new. Don't let your work get in your way of happiness, or don't misunderstand work for real happiness. Stop taking yourself seriously and stop identifying yourself with the titles you hold; that of an AVP or a CEO or a MBA or some hot-shot celebrity. Just be your simple self and enjoy. Spend some time in blissful silence and you will start appreciating the noise around, without any regret.
I so wanted to get out of this maddening city, but then I realized, life is what you make; the city you stay doesn't really matter. The measure of success should not be solely in your achievements, but in the radiance of your warm contented smile and the joy it brings to others.
Don't let the burdens of your responsibilities take the best of you. We all know, how unpredictable life can be. See to it, you don't end up frowning when all you wanted to do, was smile.
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
It's 6.30 a.m in the morning and I am woken up by the blaring bursts of busy vehicles, in a mad rush to reach their points of destination. Welcome to Bombay! - The city that never sleeps, and also, the city that doesn't allow anyone to sleep peacefully either. (I prefer calling it Bombay, for nostalgic reasons. You are free to interpret it as Mumbai!)
My humble home is bang adjacent to the Expressway, and it's an assorted predicament of sorts. Vehicles small or big make it a point to blare their deafening horns 24/7, as if to tell me the world has found it's rightful expression; and now, it's high time I find mine.
The truth about Bombay, was beautifully sung by Mohd. Rafi, in the 1956 song - 'Bombay Meri Jaan'. It seems, the situation, way back in 1956, was not unlike what we face today; the same old traffic and the same old insanity to achieve something of everything. Is this what you call ambition? To gain everything; only to lose your peace of mind.
When I sit back and watch the usual swarm of people go about doing their "responsibilities", I feel so saddened by the incessant madness to achieve something at the cost of losing everything. We seem to have everything under control, yet one thing runs common in all of us - we don't have time. We are abject workaholics, who spend their prime time in working and the other half in thinking about work. What a blessed waste of time?
We are leading a life that's leading us no where at all. We are always pretending to be busy and rarely manage to come up with a genuine smile of content - all we care is for more and a bit some more. Happiness, as someone rightly observed, is not in having all that you want, but it's in wanting what you already have. We lose so many invaluable moments in this bargain. We miss out on the simplest pleasures like, seeing our children grow or favorably being there with our aged parents and gift them the greatest gift money can't buy - Love. But, we are so involved with ourselves, that everything else can afford to wait. What a misguided life this can be?
I have often heard people say; that whatever they are doing is for someone or the other and not for themselves. That's the greatest lie we end up telling ourselves. At the end of the day, you are your own sweet sustenance. You eat and sleep for yourself, no one does that for you. Likewise, you live for yourself and no one else can do it for you or you for someone else. The fact of the matter is, most of us don't know what we really want from our life. Earning money is not the primary goal. Money is just the means to get there. But we become so deluded with the means, that we start believing it to be the end itself.
Bombay is bleeding. It want's rest from the humdrum of such a fast monotonous life. You too are inadvertently bleeding. You need to slow down and savor life from time to time. Take a break, explore something new. Don't let your work get in your way of happiness, or don't misunderstand work for real happiness. Stop taking yourself seriously and stop identifying yourself with the titles you hold; that of an AVP or a CEO or a MBA or some hot-shot celebrity. Just be your simple self and enjoy. Spend some time in blissful silence and you will start appreciating the noise around, without any regret.
I so wanted to get out of this maddening city, but then I realized, life is what you make; the city you stay doesn't really matter. The measure of success should not be solely in your achievements, but in the radiance of your warm contented smile and the joy it brings to others.
Don't let the burdens of your responsibilities take the best of you. We all know, how unpredictable life can be. See to it, you don't end up frowning when all you wanted to do, was smile.
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Wolf or Dove
Dear One,
There is wolf in me,
Waiting to tear you down.
Eyes red with envy, and,
A heart filled with frowns.
There is also a dove in me,
Beautiful as the whitest cloud.
Always ready to rise,
No matter what's the price.
Both are sworn enemies,
Yet they stay inside.
Share my deepest thoughts,
To make me laugh or cry.
The wolf, is my darkest desires,
The dove, my loftiest dreams.
They are as real for you,
As it is for me.
They wait for the moment,
To make you one of them.
How you deal with it,
Makes the whole difference.
The wolf kills and howls,
The dove heals and loves.
One thrives on hatred,
The other on love.
Vicious anger grips the wolf,
Making it mad in vain.
Calm and quiet the dove remains,
Steady and strong even in pain.
Wolf or dove,
Is your own personal choice.
Always be cautious,
Else the dove will have to die.
Both are your own two shades,
Little do you know or care.
One can't stand the other,
Yet you have to forbear.
So be careful and aware,
Of the friend and foe.
If one raises it's head,
The other has to let go.
Love and hate,
Can never dwell in peace.
That's the primordial truth,
Know it, before it completely destroys you.
Who are you? Know your story,
A wicked wolf or a peaceful dove?
See the truest truth within,
The rest of it, is just a fancy lie.
Peace in yourself. Peace in the world.
There is wolf in me,
Waiting to tear you down.
Eyes red with envy, and,
A heart filled with frowns.
There is also a dove in me,
Beautiful as the whitest cloud.
Always ready to rise,
No matter what's the price.
Both are sworn enemies,
Yet they stay inside.
Share my deepest thoughts,
To make me laugh or cry.
The wolf, is my darkest desires,
The dove, my loftiest dreams.
They are as real for you,
As it is for me.
They wait for the moment,
To make you one of them.
How you deal with it,
Makes the whole difference.
The wolf kills and howls,
The dove heals and loves.
One thrives on hatred,
The other on love.
Vicious anger grips the wolf,
Making it mad in vain.
Calm and quiet the dove remains,
Steady and strong even in pain.
Both are the vilest enemies,
Ready to fly.
One in harmful rage,
The other in harmless love.
Is your own personal choice.
Always be cautious,
Else the dove will have to die.
Both are your own two shades,
Little do you know or care.
One can't stand the other,
Yet you have to forbear.
So be careful and aware,
Of the friend and foe.
If one raises it's head,
The other has to let go.
Love and hate,
Can never dwell in peace.
That's the primordial truth,
Know it, before it completely destroys you.
Who are you? Know your story,
A wicked wolf or a peaceful dove?
See the truest truth within,
The rest of it, is just a fancy lie.
Peace in yourself. Peace in the world.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
A Writer's Meditation
Dear One,
Greetings!
Writing is my meditation. Early in the morning, with a cup of hot refreshing coffee, I sit with my laptop, staring at the blank screen, waiting for my writer's inspiration. The clock slowly ticks away it's monotonous tune and I attentively wait and watch for words to visit my anxious mind. Within a few minutes of deep contemplation, my mind turns inward and goes blank like a sheet of paper, waiting for an invisible hand to write it's soulful story.
Words seem incomprehensible and for a split second everything stands perfectly still. The busy scene from my balcony too loses its vigor and it goes around in slow motion. The constant morning tweets of birds, diminish with each passing minute and finally my mind and heart starts to beat in unison. My mind comprehends what my heart has felt.
That's when it finally happens. A small seed of thought rises from the depths of my being creating subtle ripples of ideas within. Then, hundreds of senseless words start to appear from no where, as if to support the initial thought. They weave themselves in a peculiar fashion, in a quest to find the right expression. I wait and watch this beautiful play of words and see them take shape to transform themselves into a pleasant literary experience.
Countless words buzz around my head like a swarm of thousand bees and the permutation continues for a bit longer. Ironically, I become mute to this entire wordy episode, and let my mind take charge of itself. It feels as if my mind has a mind of it's own. Strange, but it's true. Every writer knows to when to write and when to keep perfectly quiet; allowing words to find it's own meaning. Words are thoughts crystalized and if used skillfully, it has the power to transform and transcend human limitations.
Finally, a hazy picture paints itself in my mind. I get the plot of my story. The characters too start to take shape and color is added to define each characters uniqueness. I finally get a glimpse of the entire story. After that, it's all about minor details to be retouched and rearranged to grant a complete and wholesome perspective.
Once again, I hear the noisy roads and the birds chirping, to pull me back into reality. However, I know my mind had found solace for a fraction, in the depths of my very being. I had my meditation and my story is complete for the world to hear. I feel humbled with the experience of meaningless words finding it's ultimate expression by rearranging itself in perfect harmony. Music fills my heart and the newly written lyrics find a perfect match in the melodious notes.
A personal masterpiece is born; and I smile in grateful acknowledgment.
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
Greetings!
Writing is my meditation. Early in the morning, with a cup of hot refreshing coffee, I sit with my laptop, staring at the blank screen, waiting for my writer's inspiration. The clock slowly ticks away it's monotonous tune and I attentively wait and watch for words to visit my anxious mind. Within a few minutes of deep contemplation, my mind turns inward and goes blank like a sheet of paper, waiting for an invisible hand to write it's soulful story.
Words seem incomprehensible and for a split second everything stands perfectly still. The busy scene from my balcony too loses its vigor and it goes around in slow motion. The constant morning tweets of birds, diminish with each passing minute and finally my mind and heart starts to beat in unison. My mind comprehends what my heart has felt.
That's when it finally happens. A small seed of thought rises from the depths of my being creating subtle ripples of ideas within. Then, hundreds of senseless words start to appear from no where, as if to support the initial thought. They weave themselves in a peculiar fashion, in a quest to find the right expression. I wait and watch this beautiful play of words and see them take shape to transform themselves into a pleasant literary experience.
Countless words buzz around my head like a swarm of thousand bees and the permutation continues for a bit longer. Ironically, I become mute to this entire wordy episode, and let my mind take charge of itself. It feels as if my mind has a mind of it's own. Strange, but it's true. Every writer knows to when to write and when to keep perfectly quiet; allowing words to find it's own meaning. Words are thoughts crystalized and if used skillfully, it has the power to transform and transcend human limitations.
Finally, a hazy picture paints itself in my mind. I get the plot of my story. The characters too start to take shape and color is added to define each characters uniqueness. I finally get a glimpse of the entire story. After that, it's all about minor details to be retouched and rearranged to grant a complete and wholesome perspective.
Once again, I hear the noisy roads and the birds chirping, to pull me back into reality. However, I know my mind had found solace for a fraction, in the depths of my very being. I had my meditation and my story is complete for the world to hear. I feel humbled with the experience of meaningless words finding it's ultimate expression by rearranging itself in perfect harmony. Music fills my heart and the newly written lyrics find a perfect match in the melodious notes.
A personal masterpiece is born; and I smile in grateful acknowledgment.
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
Monday, March 15, 2010
The Swami & His Muse
Dear One,
Greetings!
What does it take to make a holy man into a hollow man - Just a scandal. That's right and that's all. India is a land of holy contradictions. Within seconds a man is turned into a god and with equal rapidity, the same god-man is pulled down to the status of a miserable wretch. We Indians, have a unique monopoly on blind faith and such enterprising "god men" exploit this weakness of ours to gain popularity and money. We are a naive breed too; despite having eyes to see, an intellect to help us understand and a sharp mind to discriminate; we still fall for the "Divine Miracle Trap" quite easily.
Such is the recent story of a god man, who was pulled down from his divinity by the very people who made him divine at the first instance. What a pitiable story of a man who was made a superman; and in equal measure, it is also the story of those countless, deluded people who followed a fallen man, only to end up falling in the same ditch of shameful repentance.
In remote Tamil Nadu, is an ashram that attracts millions of faithful devotees every day. The head of the ashram, is a young charismatic guru, who claimed to be a spiritual caretaker to the millions who followed him blindly to gain a sneak peak into salvation. Men and women of high social ranks and caliber along with the simple native village folks, sit together at his feet and listen to every word that falls from his lips as virtual drops of divine nectar. His followers give him a respect fit for a demi-god, investing him with hundreds of miracles performed or simply made up.
A spiritual guide is like your own mother, always selfless and pure. Can you ever question the credibility of your own mother? Never. Likewise, the status of a spiritual guide is pristine and sacred to all the aspirants who walk the path. Guru means the dispeller of darkness, but if the guru himself is engulfed in darkness, who else can you turn to. A guru is a spiritual mentor and you least expect a mentor to misbehave or misguide. Buddha, observing this mortal frailty, rightfully said, "Be your own guru, do not depend on anyone for your own salvation". Adi Shankara, too, in his famous poem, Atma Shatakam, claims, "I have no earthly guru, for the real guru is in me."
All these enlightened Masters knew that no one can be anyone's salvation. You have to earn it all by yourself and for your self. No one else can do it for you. They can just show you the way, and you have to walk the path, all alone. But in the Hindu tradition, much importance is given to the Guru, or the spiritual guide. We give them a status much above God Himself/Herself. However, I firmly believe that the true essence of "Guru" has lost it's rightful meaning by our banal misinterpretations and senseless actions. A guru these days is someone whose main job is to assure you of material, mental or spiritual security. Alas! if we could only understand; guru is someone who grants clarity and guidance based on his own soulful experiences, and encourage you to walk your own path with confidence.
This sadhu, or man of god, who was a connoisseur of a million eyes made a big, brutal mistake. He slipped from his noble path and got embroiled in some unholy controversies, by finding secret pleasure in exploiting women. He preached openly about the holiness of his immaculate life, and he secretly found pleasure in bedding gullible women. What an utter waste of the faith of the faithful. You might want to argue that after all, we are human beings, and we do slip at times. I agree, we do. That's because we are normal human beings and we do not claim to be a sacred superman with a million devotees to take moral responsibility of. With great responsibility, comes greater sacrifices and only the fittest survive.
God men like the one discussed, are not privileged to lead a life of a common man; as they take strict vows of life long celibacy to prepare and commit themselves for a higher purpose. Their words then carry a sense of truth, when they live what they preach to others. However, when you lead a dual life, one of a holy god man and the other of a reckless womanizer, you are putting into jeopardy the faith of a million souls who treat you as their reverent guide.
Countless people have found this truth to be utterly unpalatable and they are consoling themselves otherwise. But who can prevent truth from coming out in the most hideous ways. The culprit's story is now out, as well as his immoral sexcapades. He tried his best to extinguish and salvage his reputation, but sex scandals unfortunately spread faster than wind and fire. It consumes everything on its path. Aftermath of the scandal are illegal DVD's of this bogus swami and his muse, available for Rs.100, making his staunchest devotees go red in anger and disgust, and on the other hand making him a idol for another million of perverts like him to follow suit. Wow. Blessed is India and blessed are we Indians, who accept everything with blind faith!
Spirituality is not in following someone blindly. It is about opening your eyes to reality, and seeing it as it is.
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
Greetings!
What does it take to make a holy man into a hollow man - Just a scandal. That's right and that's all. India is a land of holy contradictions. Within seconds a man is turned into a god and with equal rapidity, the same god-man is pulled down to the status of a miserable wretch. We Indians, have a unique monopoly on blind faith and such enterprising "god men" exploit this weakness of ours to gain popularity and money. We are a naive breed too; despite having eyes to see, an intellect to help us understand and a sharp mind to discriminate; we still fall for the "Divine Miracle Trap" quite easily.
Such is the recent story of a god man, who was pulled down from his divinity by the very people who made him divine at the first instance. What a pitiable story of a man who was made a superman; and in equal measure, it is also the story of those countless, deluded people who followed a fallen man, only to end up falling in the same ditch of shameful repentance.
In remote Tamil Nadu, is an ashram that attracts millions of faithful devotees every day. The head of the ashram, is a young charismatic guru, who claimed to be a spiritual caretaker to the millions who followed him blindly to gain a sneak peak into salvation. Men and women of high social ranks and caliber along with the simple native village folks, sit together at his feet and listen to every word that falls from his lips as virtual drops of divine nectar. His followers give him a respect fit for a demi-god, investing him with hundreds of miracles performed or simply made up.
A spiritual guide is like your own mother, always selfless and pure. Can you ever question the credibility of your own mother? Never. Likewise, the status of a spiritual guide is pristine and sacred to all the aspirants who walk the path. Guru means the dispeller of darkness, but if the guru himself is engulfed in darkness, who else can you turn to. A guru is a spiritual mentor and you least expect a mentor to misbehave or misguide. Buddha, observing this mortal frailty, rightfully said, "Be your own guru, do not depend on anyone for your own salvation". Adi Shankara, too, in his famous poem, Atma Shatakam, claims, "I have no earthly guru, for the real guru is in me."
All these enlightened Masters knew that no one can be anyone's salvation. You have to earn it all by yourself and for your self. No one else can do it for you. They can just show you the way, and you have to walk the path, all alone. But in the Hindu tradition, much importance is given to the Guru, or the spiritual guide. We give them a status much above God Himself/Herself. However, I firmly believe that the true essence of "Guru" has lost it's rightful meaning by our banal misinterpretations and senseless actions. A guru these days is someone whose main job is to assure you of material, mental or spiritual security. Alas! if we could only understand; guru is someone who grants clarity and guidance based on his own soulful experiences, and encourage you to walk your own path with confidence.
This sadhu, or man of god, who was a connoisseur of a million eyes made a big, brutal mistake. He slipped from his noble path and got embroiled in some unholy controversies, by finding secret pleasure in exploiting women. He preached openly about the holiness of his immaculate life, and he secretly found pleasure in bedding gullible women. What an utter waste of the faith of the faithful. You might want to argue that after all, we are human beings, and we do slip at times. I agree, we do. That's because we are normal human beings and we do not claim to be a sacred superman with a million devotees to take moral responsibility of. With great responsibility, comes greater sacrifices and only the fittest survive.
God men like the one discussed, are not privileged to lead a life of a common man; as they take strict vows of life long celibacy to prepare and commit themselves for a higher purpose. Their words then carry a sense of truth, when they live what they preach to others. However, when you lead a dual life, one of a holy god man and the other of a reckless womanizer, you are putting into jeopardy the faith of a million souls who treat you as their reverent guide.
Countless people have found this truth to be utterly unpalatable and they are consoling themselves otherwise. But who can prevent truth from coming out in the most hideous ways. The culprit's story is now out, as well as his immoral sexcapades. He tried his best to extinguish and salvage his reputation, but sex scandals unfortunately spread faster than wind and fire. It consumes everything on its path. Aftermath of the scandal are illegal DVD's of this bogus swami and his muse, available for Rs.100, making his staunchest devotees go red in anger and disgust, and on the other hand making him a idol for another million of perverts like him to follow suit. Wow. Blessed is India and blessed are we Indians, who accept everything with blind faith!
Spirituality is not in following someone blindly. It is about opening your eyes to reality, and seeing it as it is.
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
The Miracle Oil Therapy
Dear One,
The simplicity of this healing system in which Oil is swirled backwards and forwards in the mouth, is due to the stimulating effect which it has on the body's eliminatory system.
Through this method it is possible to heal individual cells, cell conglomerates such as lymph nodes and more complex tissues such as internal organs simultaneously. This occurs because the beneficial microflora throughout the body are provided with a healthy continuum. Without this natural bodily intrusive element evinced by the microflora the usual pattern of human health tends to lean towards illness rather than wellness.
Benefits:
It is true, it is nothing sort of a miracle cure but then again it is verified scientifically, so there is nothing miraculous in it. The health benefits of this simple daily routine can be incalculable. It can be done by anyone and all it takes is just 10-15 minutes every morning. It is an age old technique of rejuvenation and it was lost to us for many centuries. Finally, people have started rediscovering its countless benefits, only to make it a part of their daily lives.
Alright, let me not keep you hanging any further. The technique is known as "Oil-Pulling" and it is an age old technique used for health preservation. It might sound very rustic and old fashioned, but trust me, out of my own experience I safely say, it really works wonders if done regularly. Regularity and consistency of practice is the only key.
The Method:
In the morning before breakfast on an empty stomach you take one tablespoon of sesame oil in the mouth but do not swallow it. Move the Oil slowly in the mouth as rinsing or swishing or simply put - sip, suck and pull through the teeth' for ten to fifteen minutes. Do not gargle.
This process makes oil thoroughly mixed with saliva. Swishing activates the enzymes and the enzymes draw toxins out of the blood. The oil must not be swallowed, for it has become toxic. As the process continues, the oil gets thinner and white. If the oil is still yellow, it has not been pulled long enough. It is then spit from the mouth , the oral cavity must be thoroughly rinsed and mouth must be washed thoroughly. Just use normal tap water and good old fingers to clean and then brush your teeth normally.
Clean the sink properly, you can use some antibacterial soap to clean the sink. Because the spittle contains harmful bacteria and toxic bodily waste. If one were to see one drop of this liquid magnified 600 times under a microscope, one would see microbes in their first stage of development.
It is important to understand that during the oilpulling / oilswishing process one's metabolism is intensified. This leads to improved health. One of the most striking results of this process is the fastening of loose teeth, the elimination of bleeding gums and the visible whitening of the teeth. The oil pulling /swishing is done best before breakfast. To accelerate the healing process, it can be repeated three times a day, but always before meals on an empty stomach.
For first timers, it will be quite a task to perform this process every morning with diligence. There are good chances of you swallowing some of the oil in the first few days of practice. Don't worry, it's absolutely fine. You might also get repulsed by the putrid taste of the oil itself, only to spit it out too soon. The secret lies in practice. With daily practice, firstly you will get over the taste factor and then gradually overcome the fear of swallowing bits of the oil itself. Jalandhara Bandha, the yogic throat lock, will come to you automatically and naturally, refraining the oil to trickle down your throat.
Clean the sink properly, you can use some antibacterial soap to clean the sink. Because the spittle contains harmful bacteria and toxic bodily waste. If one were to see one drop of this liquid magnified 600 times under a microscope, one would see microbes in their first stage of development.
It is important to understand that during the oilpulling / oilswishing process one's metabolism is intensified. This leads to improved health. One of the most striking results of this process is the fastening of loose teeth, the elimination of bleeding gums and the visible whitening of the teeth. The oil pulling /swishing is done best before breakfast. To accelerate the healing process, it can be repeated three times a day, but always before meals on an empty stomach.
For first timers, it will be quite a task to perform this process every morning with diligence. There are good chances of you swallowing some of the oil in the first few days of practice. Don't worry, it's absolutely fine. You might also get repulsed by the putrid taste of the oil itself, only to spit it out too soon. The secret lies in practice. With daily practice, firstly you will get over the taste factor and then gradually overcome the fear of swallowing bits of the oil itself. Jalandhara Bandha, the yogic throat lock, will come to you automatically and naturally, refraining the oil to trickle down your throat.
Through this method it is possible to heal individual cells, cell conglomerates such as lymph nodes and more complex tissues such as internal organs simultaneously. This occurs because the beneficial microflora throughout the body are provided with a healthy continuum. Without this natural bodily intrusive element evinced by the microflora the usual pattern of human health tends to lean towards illness rather than wellness.
By means of this oil pulling treatment, it is invariably the result that diseases like migraine headaches, bronchitis, diseased teeth, arterio thrombosis, chronic blood disorders such as leukemia, arthritis and related illnesses, neuro physiological paralysis, eczema, gastro enteritis, peritonitis, heart disease, kidney disease, meningitis, and women’s hormonal disorders are completely eliminated from the system. The benefit of this simple technique is that the oil therapy heals the whole body in perpetuity.
It is most astonishing that such results can be achieved with this absolutely harmless biological healing method. This simple method makes it possible to effectively treat the most varied diseases, in some cases enabling one to avoid surgical intervention and the taking of medications that can have harmful side effects.
Precautions:
(a) Do not swallow. The oil should be spat out. But inadvertently if you swallow there is nothing to worry. It will go out through faeces. Nothing is to be done.
(b) If you are allergic to a particular brand of oil, change the brand of oil or oil itself to different oil.
(c) Sunflower and Sesame oil have been found to be equally effective in curing diseases. Other oils were not found to be as good. Do not blame the efficacy of oil pulling by practicing with other oils.
(b) If you are allergic to a particular brand of oil, change the brand of oil or oil itself to different oil.
(c) Sunflower and Sesame oil have been found to be equally effective in curing diseases. Other oils were not found to be as good. Do not blame the efficacy of oil pulling by practicing with other oils.
So what are you waiting for. Start it and with regular practice, you will witness the results for yourself and believe it's efficacy.
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
The Southern Mysteries
Dear One,
Greetings!
I am a true blood South Indian, who needs his piping hot, cuppa filter coffee every morning (And at all other times in between). That's a typical South Indian trait born out of mindless luxury you see.
It is said, South India is the spiritual hub of India itself. With contradictory feelings, do I support this claim; as modern South is whizzing head long the American way, with a touch of westernization in every step. My recent trip to this ancient center of learning left me with mixed feelings of joy and despair. On one hand, there is an influx of palpable modernism, with state-of-the-art shopping malls and multiplexes cropping up everywhere and the youngsters mindlessly speaking Tamil with a queer accent, let alone English (Thanks to the BPO invasion). On the other side of the coin, we have the old world charm still retained in some remotest part of Southern India, giving us a glimpse into the hoary and advanced civilization that we once boasted of.
South India, as all of us know, is renowned for it's magnificent temples. A temple, is primarily, a place of worship, but in ancient times, it was a kingly showcase of power and prestige. The Kings who built the temples, vied with each other to build it better and grander than the rest, making it into a holy competition. The huge temple courtyards and the intricately carved facades makes it impossible not to gasp in wonder. The construction techniques of temples were a closely guarded secret, handed down from father to son as an ancestral bequeathal of sorts. It is said, many temples in South and elsewhere, still hold within them secrets of the bygone ages; heavily encrypted and fortified within it's very walls. I guess, only modern technology can help us unlock these ancient secrets now, as the modern mind is spiritually in-adept nor sharp enough, to pierce through these veils of ancient mysteries.
One such temple is the Palani Murugan temple, nestled in the forests of Dindugal, Tamil Nadu. The temple is a marvel of exquisite beauty, but what is more mystifying is the idol inside the sanctum sanctorum. It's composition is very mysterious and utterly stupefying and has it's roots in Siddha Alchemy. The Siddhas, were super humans, who having attained absolute perfection of mind, body and spirit, thorough sustained spiritual practices, propagated good will and selfless service to the society . Their knowledge was vast and deep like the oceans, hiding deep within their bellies, secrets of the Creator and the Created. They were all-in-one perfect beings: master herbalists, scientists, architects, weapon masters, scholars, statesmen, metallurgists and much more put together.
The idol of Palani Murugan, is said to be made of 'Navabhashanam', i.e. A rare ingenious amalgamation of nine poisonous metals, smelted adeptly, thence turning it into an Elixir of Life. This secret smelting process, with the inclusion of various herbs and minerals, turns the poisonous nature of the nine metals into an amalgamation of curative and medicinal properties. The amalgamation technique was so advanced, that even the modern metallurgist gasp in amazement and disbelief, when they inspect this work of antique art. It is scientifically researched and documented; the water used in the ritual bathing of this idol has many curative and life giving properties. Lakhs of devotees are witness to these miracles of ancient science. Such was the mind and legacy of the ancients.
The idol of Murugan, the son of Shiva and Parvathi, was made under the expert guidance of Siddhar Bhoganathar, the Master Siddha, whose scholarly works on Siddha medicine, is still the final word for all Siddha medicine practitioners. To evolve such a unique amalgam reveals the alchemy expertise possessed by the Siddha, Bhogar, the enormous spiritual heights achieved by him and the endless concern he had about the welfare of the followers devoted to Lord Murugan in future generations.
This is just but one example of ancient Indian ingenuity. India is filled with such breath taking examples of human excellence and spirit. A trip to interior South India, with a knowledgeable guide, can open up fascinating vistas, that you once thought never existed or even possible, to say the least.
Explore your own country. It has many mystifying secrets waiting to be explored and revealed. A country is known by its people, but first, you should know your own country, to realize and appreciate it's true beauty.
I am proud to be born an Indian. It's really God's Own Country - Incredible India! Mysterious India!
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
Greetings!
I am a true blood South Indian, who needs his piping hot, cuppa filter coffee every morning (And at all other times in between). That's a typical South Indian trait born out of mindless luxury you see.
It is said, South India is the spiritual hub of India itself. With contradictory feelings, do I support this claim; as modern South is whizzing head long the American way, with a touch of westernization in every step. My recent trip to this ancient center of learning left me with mixed feelings of joy and despair. On one hand, there is an influx of palpable modernism, with state-of-the-art shopping malls and multiplexes cropping up everywhere and the youngsters mindlessly speaking Tamil with a queer accent, let alone English (Thanks to the BPO invasion). On the other side of the coin, we have the old world charm still retained in some remotest part of Southern India, giving us a glimpse into the hoary and advanced civilization that we once boasted of.
South India, as all of us know, is renowned for it's magnificent temples. A temple, is primarily, a place of worship, but in ancient times, it was a kingly showcase of power and prestige. The Kings who built the temples, vied with each other to build it better and grander than the rest, making it into a holy competition. The huge temple courtyards and the intricately carved facades makes it impossible not to gasp in wonder. The construction techniques of temples were a closely guarded secret, handed down from father to son as an ancestral bequeathal of sorts. It is said, many temples in South and elsewhere, still hold within them secrets of the bygone ages; heavily encrypted and fortified within it's very walls. I guess, only modern technology can help us unlock these ancient secrets now, as the modern mind is spiritually in-adept nor sharp enough, to pierce through these veils of ancient mysteries.
One such temple is the Palani Murugan temple, nestled in the forests of Dindugal, Tamil Nadu. The temple is a marvel of exquisite beauty, but what is more mystifying is the idol inside the sanctum sanctorum. It's composition is very mysterious and utterly stupefying and has it's roots in Siddha Alchemy. The Siddhas, were super humans, who having attained absolute perfection of mind, body and spirit, thorough sustained spiritual practices, propagated good will and selfless service to the society . Their knowledge was vast and deep like the oceans, hiding deep within their bellies, secrets of the Creator and the Created. They were all-in-one perfect beings: master herbalists, scientists, architects, weapon masters, scholars, statesmen, metallurgists and much more put together.
The idol of Palani Murugan, is said to be made of 'Navabhashanam', i.e. A rare ingenious amalgamation of nine poisonous metals, smelted adeptly, thence turning it into an Elixir of Life. This secret smelting process, with the inclusion of various herbs and minerals, turns the poisonous nature of the nine metals into an amalgamation of curative and medicinal properties. The amalgamation technique was so advanced, that even the modern metallurgist gasp in amazement and disbelief, when they inspect this work of antique art. It is scientifically researched and documented; the water used in the ritual bathing of this idol has many curative and life giving properties. Lakhs of devotees are witness to these miracles of ancient science. Such was the mind and legacy of the ancients.
The idol of Murugan, the son of Shiva and Parvathi, was made under the expert guidance of Siddhar Bhoganathar, the Master Siddha, whose scholarly works on Siddha medicine, is still the final word for all Siddha medicine practitioners. To evolve such a unique amalgam reveals the alchemy expertise possessed by the Siddha, Bhogar, the enormous spiritual heights achieved by him and the endless concern he had about the welfare of the followers devoted to Lord Murugan in future generations.
This is just but one example of ancient Indian ingenuity. India is filled with such breath taking examples of human excellence and spirit. A trip to interior South India, with a knowledgeable guide, can open up fascinating vistas, that you once thought never existed or even possible, to say the least.
Explore your own country. It has many mystifying secrets waiting to be explored and revealed. A country is known by its people, but first, you should know your own country, to realize and appreciate it's true beauty.
I am proud to be born an Indian. It's really God's Own Country - Incredible India! Mysterious India!
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Playing Your Part
Dear One,
Greetings!
Are you not thankful for all the wonderful qualities, nature has bestowed on you? Now, don't sulk saying, 'I am nature's most neglected child'. Stop being such a natural born positive pessimist. Be thankful for all the qualities you have been bestowed upon, as they are not your own making. It's a wondrous gift of nature. In the same way, it depends on the part that you have been given to play that makes all your qualities complete.
Say, in a drama, you are given the part of a villain, and you play that role perfectly. A villain always knows that when I am playing the role of a villain, it's just a role I am playing. I'm very sincere to my role.
There is a saying in Sanskrit, 'Durjanam Prathamam Vande Sajjanam Tadanantaram'. First, worship the bad person, and then the good man. The bad man is falling and giving you an example, "Don't do what I did." Don't ever hate someone because of their misdeeds; they have given you such a beautiful lesson to learn. Remember nature teaches you every second; but we fail to learn it most of the time.
When you understand these basic laws of truth, then your inner perfection becomes so stable that nothing on this planet can shake your inner perfection. Nothing can shake you. Your knowledge of a mistake comes to you when you are innocent! The knowledge of a mistake dawns in the moment when you are 'out of the mistake'.
However the past has been, whatever mistake has happened, do not consider yourself to be a sinner or the maker of that mistake. In the present moment you are new again, pure and clear. You die every moment, only to be born again.
Mistakes of the past are past. When this knowledge comes, that moment you are again perfect. Often, mothers scold their children and afterwards feel so guilty. Then they go on regretting, "Oh, poor thing. I got so angry and annoyed at this kid, poor child! I should not have done this." Then you prepare yourself to get angry again. Okay, you got angry with your kid once or twice. Why? Because of lack of awareness! Awareness was missing so the anger came up, it happened.
That's what Krishna tells Arjuna, "Arjuna, you think you are not going to do what you are supposed to do? I tell you, you will do it. Even if you don't want, you are going to do it!" In a very clever way He puts it: "You better surrender to me directly."
He says: "Drop everything. Surrender to Me, and do what I say". Then He says: "Well, I have told you whatever I have to say, now you think it over and do what you like, you do whatever you want to do, do however you like". But then He said, "but remember, you will do only what I want".
These last few sentences of Krishna were so confusing, and people have struggled to make sense out of them. There are thousands of commentaries trying to make sense out of these few words, three contradicting statements. First He says, Surrender everything, I'll do everything for you, or just do as I say. Then he says: Think, think and see what is right for you, do whatever you feel is right. And then in the third statement he says: But remember (anyway) you will do only what I want you to do. I guess, only out of confusion can come clarity.
A writer will feel, "I did not write, it just started flowing, it started happening." All the creative work in the world - whether painting, dance, drama, music, anything - has all come from that unknown corner. It just spontaneously started happening. You are not the doer. The best sculptor will say, "I didn't do it, it just started happening." The best painter will say the same thing; the best music composer would say the same thing.
I tell you, the same is true for criminals too. You ask the worst criminal, "Did you do this?" He will reply, "No, it happened! What could I do?" Knowledge of the your own Self is the only thing that can take you from imperfection to perfection. Keep searching for that evasive perfection - within you. Stop searching for it outside, as you will never find it. Start searching it inside, and surely, you will find it some blessed day.
So, the best thing is to keep playing your part, unsullied and unattached. One day, the drama will end and you can resume your true nature. Till then, play on.
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
Greetings!
Are you not thankful for all the wonderful qualities, nature has bestowed on you? Now, don't sulk saying, 'I am nature's most neglected child'. Stop being such a natural born positive pessimist. Be thankful for all the qualities you have been bestowed upon, as they are not your own making. It's a wondrous gift of nature. In the same way, it depends on the part that you have been given to play that makes all your qualities complete.
Say, in a drama, you are given the part of a villain, and you play that role perfectly. A villain always knows that when I am playing the role of a villain, it's just a role I am playing. I'm very sincere to my role.
There is a saying in Sanskrit, 'Durjanam Prathamam Vande Sajjanam Tadanantaram'. First, worship the bad person, and then the good man. The bad man is falling and giving you an example, "Don't do what I did." Don't ever hate someone because of their misdeeds; they have given you such a beautiful lesson to learn. Remember nature teaches you every second; but we fail to learn it most of the time.
When you understand these basic laws of truth, then your inner perfection becomes so stable that nothing on this planet can shake your inner perfection. Nothing can shake you. Your knowledge of a mistake comes to you when you are innocent! The knowledge of a mistake dawns in the moment when you are 'out of the mistake'.
However the past has been, whatever mistake has happened, do not consider yourself to be a sinner or the maker of that mistake. In the present moment you are new again, pure and clear. You die every moment, only to be born again.
Mistakes of the past are past. When this knowledge comes, that moment you are again perfect. Often, mothers scold their children and afterwards feel so guilty. Then they go on regretting, "Oh, poor thing. I got so angry and annoyed at this kid, poor child! I should not have done this." Then you prepare yourself to get angry again. Okay, you got angry with your kid once or twice. Why? Because of lack of awareness! Awareness was missing so the anger came up, it happened.
That's what Krishna tells Arjuna, "Arjuna, you think you are not going to do what you are supposed to do? I tell you, you will do it. Even if you don't want, you are going to do it!" In a very clever way He puts it: "You better surrender to me directly."
He says: "Drop everything. Surrender to Me, and do what I say". Then He says: "Well, I have told you whatever I have to say, now you think it over and do what you like, you do whatever you want to do, do however you like". But then He said, "but remember, you will do only what I want".
These last few sentences of Krishna were so confusing, and people have struggled to make sense out of them. There are thousands of commentaries trying to make sense out of these few words, three contradicting statements. First He says, Surrender everything, I'll do everything for you, or just do as I say. Then he says: Think, think and see what is right for you, do whatever you feel is right. And then in the third statement he says: But remember (anyway) you will do only what I want you to do. I guess, only out of confusion can come clarity.
A writer will feel, "I did not write, it just started flowing, it started happening." All the creative work in the world - whether painting, dance, drama, music, anything - has all come from that unknown corner. It just spontaneously started happening. You are not the doer. The best sculptor will say, "I didn't do it, it just started happening." The best painter will say the same thing; the best music composer would say the same thing.
I tell you, the same is true for criminals too. You ask the worst criminal, "Did you do this?" He will reply, "No, it happened! What could I do?" Knowledge of the your own Self is the only thing that can take you from imperfection to perfection. Keep searching for that evasive perfection - within you. Stop searching for it outside, as you will never find it. Start searching it inside, and surely, you will find it some blessed day.
So, the best thing is to keep playing your part, unsullied and unattached. One day, the drama will end and you can resume your true nature. Till then, play on.
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Man In The Mirror
Dear One,
Greetings!
That's right. It is indeed the 1988, hit single of the late King Of Pop - MJ. What a piece of inspiring lyrics it has. It is my all time favorite MJ song as it was of MJ himself. The legend goes that the original composer of the song, Siedah Garret, was driving to a record session, when she saw a face peering at her in the mirror of her car and voila, came the inspiration to write "Man In The Mirror". Garret has given many hit tracks, for the King Of Pop to cash on. It is said, it definitely takes more than two to steer the success of one.
Although, I am known in my circle, to be a crazy fan of MJ's late father-in-law's music i.e., The King Of Rock-n-Roll, Elvis Presley. Even still, I am one ardent fan; but of him I have already written much. I am not a huge fan of MJ's style of rendition, but I have to admit, many of his songs, have awesome lyrics. So potent and so true. I can't testify, if he practiced what he sang, but who does anyway? (He loved children and did many noble deeds for them; minus the controversies ;-)
One such, is the song "Man In The Mirror". It sends my pulse racing and mind thinking, every time I listen to it. It is not as poetic as one expects it to be, but the message it gives, is crisp and clear enough to fashion your life on. As a child, I used to listen to many english songs without any discretion, as firstly, I wanted to improve my language badly, secondly, my late uncle who was a shippie and a hippie in his hey days, was crazy about Beetle-Abba-Boney.M music. So day and night, without any definite choice, I was made to listen to the gramophone records without respite. You can call it a continuos music education model of yore. All though, I would end up trying hard to decipher the lyrics of each song, it would never happen to be so. Blessed are we to have the internet for ready access to the lyrics or to the actual (Illegal i.e.) download of the song itself.
Here is the part of the song for you to ponder and enjoy the timeless MJ magic - Rock On!
I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .
As I, Turn Up The Collar On My
Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,
With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See
Their Needs
A Summer's Disregard,
A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other On
The Wind Ya' Know
'Cause They Got Nowhere
To Go
That's Why I Want You To
Know
I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish
Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No
Home, Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me,
Pretending That They're Not
Alone?
A Willow Deeply Scarred,
Somebody's Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream
They Follow The Pattern Of
The Wind, Ya' See
Cause They Got No Place
To Be
That's Why I'm Starting With
Me (Starting With Me!)
I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change...
Peace in yourself. Peace in the world.
Greetings!
That's right. It is indeed the 1988, hit single of the late King Of Pop - MJ. What a piece of inspiring lyrics it has. It is my all time favorite MJ song as it was of MJ himself. The legend goes that the original composer of the song, Siedah Garret, was driving to a record session, when she saw a face peering at her in the mirror of her car and voila, came the inspiration to write "Man In The Mirror". Garret has given many hit tracks, for the King Of Pop to cash on. It is said, it definitely takes more than two to steer the success of one.
Although, I am known in my circle, to be a crazy fan of MJ's late father-in-law's music i.e., The King Of Rock-n-Roll, Elvis Presley. Even still, I am one ardent fan; but of him I have already written much. I am not a huge fan of MJ's style of rendition, but I have to admit, many of his songs, have awesome lyrics. So potent and so true. I can't testify, if he practiced what he sang, but who does anyway? (He loved children and did many noble deeds for them; minus the controversies ;-)
One such, is the song "Man In The Mirror". It sends my pulse racing and mind thinking, every time I listen to it. It is not as poetic as one expects it to be, but the message it gives, is crisp and clear enough to fashion your life on. As a child, I used to listen to many english songs without any discretion, as firstly, I wanted to improve my language badly, secondly, my late uncle who was a shippie and a hippie in his hey days, was crazy about Beetle-Abba-Boney.M music. So day and night, without any definite choice, I was made to listen to the gramophone records without respite. You can call it a continuos music education model of yore. All though, I would end up trying hard to decipher the lyrics of each song, it would never happen to be so. Blessed are we to have the internet for ready access to the lyrics or to the actual (Illegal i.e.) download of the song itself.
Here is the part of the song for you to ponder and enjoy the timeless MJ magic - Rock On!
I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .
As I, Turn Up The Collar On My
Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,
With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See
Their Needs
A Summer's Disregard,
A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other On
The Wind Ya' Know
'Cause They Got Nowhere
To Go
That's Why I Want You To
Know
I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish
Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No
Home, Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me,
Pretending That They're Not
Alone?
A Willow Deeply Scarred,
Somebody's Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream
They Follow The Pattern Of
The Wind, Ya' See
Cause They Got No Place
To Be
That's Why I'm Starting With
Me (Starting With Me!)
I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change...
Peace in yourself. Peace in the world.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Kar Balah Tho Ho Balah
Dear One,
Greetings!
Now wait a minute. Before your imagination change gears, let me clarify; it's not a modern off shoot to Kabbalah. In fact, it is an interesting interpretation made by a dear friend, of course from the word 'Kabbalah'. He says, his philosophy of life is very simple and uncomplicated - 'Kar Bhalah Tho Ho Balah'. If loosely translated it means - 'Do good to others and good shall be done unto you.'
I couldn't agree more with this simple philosophy of life. The most beautiful things in life are the simplest, but we are masters of complexity, hence we elaborate it, so to fill at least a thousand unread pages. We have all the means to lead a simple and happy life, but we seldom take heed of this simple philosophy and live by it. Life is to live by the moment and not a lifeless theory to expound and understand it. If understood it shall no longer remain a beautiful mystery. It shall become like a movie with a known and an expected ending.
However, for a few select ones, life is a different ball game, with a different set of rules. They do dream big and manage to fulfill it through their ardent efforts, only to realize the utter futility of it in some unexpected way at some unexpected point. Then their life heads for a big 'U' turn, changing everything for better or for worse.
I have known this person for quite some time now and he is a distant relative of mine. He was ear marked to become life's favored son, or at least that's what people who knew him believed to be so. He was highly intelligent, well educated and had an enviable high flying career. He had everything a well settled life could have and then one day it happened.
It is one thing to live your life by people's speculation and another, to life your life on your own terms. We are creatures of opinions and we think we are answerable to all the people we care, for our successes and more so for our failures. We have to abide by what they think is right for us, completely forgetting the fact that we have just one chance to write our own story, rather than play a stereotype role in someone else's story.
This relative of mine, one day realized the futility of his wealthy yet meaningless life. It flashed in his mind that all the money and assets he had, was just adding to his earthly woes. So he simply gave them away. Yes, he gave them up and packed his bags to a remote village in rural South India to start a rustic milk production business. Everyone revolted of his disastrous move, but he listened respectfully to everything that everyone had to say and he did exactly what he always wanted to do.
Greetings!
Now wait a minute. Before your imagination change gears, let me clarify; it's not a modern off shoot to Kabbalah. In fact, it is an interesting interpretation made by a dear friend, of course from the word 'Kabbalah'. He says, his philosophy of life is very simple and uncomplicated - 'Kar Bhalah Tho Ho Balah'. If loosely translated it means - 'Do good to others and good shall be done unto you.'
I couldn't agree more with this simple philosophy of life. The most beautiful things in life are the simplest, but we are masters of complexity, hence we elaborate it, so to fill at least a thousand unread pages. We have all the means to lead a simple and happy life, but we seldom take heed of this simple philosophy and live by it. Life is to live by the moment and not a lifeless theory to expound and understand it. If understood it shall no longer remain a beautiful mystery. It shall become like a movie with a known and an expected ending.
I, as many, often end up brooding of my future. What will it be? How will it be? Will I have enough to sustain myself and my family? Will I have all the luxuries that I dreamed of - a beautiful house, a big car, loads of moolah etc. Well, the list never ends or does it? In this mad rat race, we often fail to experience the beauty of today's sunrise, by thinking about tomorrow's sunset. (By the way, sunset too looks beautiful)
However, for a few select ones, life is a different ball game, with a different set of rules. They do dream big and manage to fulfill it through their ardent efforts, only to realize the utter futility of it in some unexpected way at some unexpected point. Then their life heads for a big 'U' turn, changing everything for better or for worse.
I have known this person for quite some time now and he is a distant relative of mine. He was ear marked to become life's favored son, or at least that's what people who knew him believed to be so. He was highly intelligent, well educated and had an enviable high flying career. He had everything a well settled life could have and then one day it happened.
It is one thing to live your life by people's speculation and another, to life your life on your own terms. We are creatures of opinions and we think we are answerable to all the people we care, for our successes and more so for our failures. We have to abide by what they think is right for us, completely forgetting the fact that we have just one chance to write our own story, rather than play a stereotype role in someone else's story.
This relative of mine, one day realized the futility of his wealthy yet meaningless life. It flashed in his mind that all the money and assets he had, was just adding to his earthly woes. So he simply gave them away. Yes, he gave them up and packed his bags to a remote village in rural South India to start a rustic milk production business. Everyone revolted of his disastrous move, but he listened respectfully to everything that everyone had to say and he did exactly what he always wanted to do.
People could not understand this eccentric behavior of a man who was destined for great personal success. What on earth made him abruptly end his high flying career and settle down in a backward village to sell milk for a paltry profit? No one knew and he too was least bothered to explain his eccentric actions to anyone. He was branded to be hopeless, by worldly standards, yet his eyes shone with an unearthly light of satisfaction and quiet happiness. He had, at last managed to find the true purpose of his life.
We all come with a unique purpose to find and fulfill. Most of us give it up midway, and begin to think, the ultimate purpose of life is to earn money, get promoted, get married, raise children and work hard for their upbringing only to end up living our dreams through our children's eyes. For most of us the purpose of life is to wonder as to what the actual purpose of life is anyway. We keep speculating all our lives and a very few like this man go bravely in search of it and find it to live it. To take a step forward, you have to be courageous enough to leave a step behind.
I respect and admire this man who is now in his early forties. He leads a life of a recluse, supplying milk to the simple village folks, teaching their children to read and write and doing all the menial day to day work with a smile. The simple villagers see him as their benefactor and shower him with genuine respect and love, which he could have never earned if he had stuck to his previous avatar. Love, like life, is best savored simple and straight from the source.
We all come with a unique purpose to find and fulfill. Most of us give it up midway, and begin to think, the ultimate purpose of life is to earn money, get promoted, get married, raise children and work hard for their upbringing only to end up living our dreams through our children's eyes. For most of us the purpose of life is to wonder as to what the actual purpose of life is anyway. We keep speculating all our lives and a very few like this man go bravely in search of it and find it to live it. To take a step forward, you have to be courageous enough to leave a step behind.
I respect and admire this man who is now in his early forties. He leads a life of a recluse, supplying milk to the simple village folks, teaching their children to read and write and doing all the menial day to day work with a smile. The simple villagers see him as their benefactor and shower him with genuine respect and love, which he could have never earned if he had stuck to his previous avatar. Love, like life, is best savored simple and straight from the source.
Many years back, I was fortunate to meet him unexpectedly for a few hours. We spoke on various topics, as he is highly intelligent, well versed and richly informed, even though he is virtually cut off from urban civilization. Curiosity took the better of me, and I asked him what prompted him to take such a brave step of faith?
He looked at me squarely, and with supreme satisfaction he said - "You have to do, what you have to do!"
That day, I returned home with a sense of invisible pride of knowing a man who followed his heart and lived his OWN dream and not a borrowed one.
I want to do the same. (Not sell milk by the way! ;-)
That day, I returned home with a sense of invisible pride of knowing a man who followed his heart and lived his OWN dream and not a borrowed one.
I want to do the same. (Not sell milk by the way! ;-)
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
The Wisdom Of Kabbalah
Dear One,
Greetings!
This archaic word, "Kabbalah", might ring many familiar bells in your mind, prodding you to think of Madonna, mysticism and perhaps the red string. But, while many may be familiar with the term Kabbalah, few might be aware of what the knowledge is or how to put it into practice. Kabbalah has been clouded in confusion, legend, myth and misinterpretation; because it's said that the authentic Kabbalah has been hidden from mankind for thousands of years due the very reasons stated above.
This ancient knowledge portal is said to have come from Abraham all the way through Moses to Jesus - The Christ. However, modern Christians of various faiths, vehemently differ to accept this truth and disassociate themselves from this ancient science that Jesus himself was said to have practiced.
Although its origins are rooted in deep antiquity, from the time of ancient Babylon, the wisdom of Kabbalah has remained virtually hidden from humanity since it appeared more than four thousand years ago. To this very day, only a few know what Kabbalah really is.
For millennia, humanity was offered a wide variety of things under the name “Kabbalah”: spells, curses, and even miracles - all except for the method of Kabbalah itself. For over four thousand years, common understanding of Kabbalah has been cluttered with misconceptions and misinterpretations. Though Kabbalah is often associated with ancient Judaism, it is not a religion. It is practical and universal spirituality.
Therefore, first and foremost, the wisdom of Kabbalah needs to be made clear. Kabbalist Yehuda Ashlag (Baal HaSulam) provides the following definition in his article "The Essence of the Wisdom of Kabbalah":
"This wisdom is no more and no less than a sequence of roots, which hang down by way of cause and effect, in fixed, determined rules, interweaving to a single, exalted goal described as, “the revelation of His Godliness to His creatures in this world.”
In simpler words, there is an upper, all-inclusive force, or “the Creator,” controlling everything in reality. All the world’s forces descend from this comprehensive force. Some of these forces are familiar to us, such as gravity or electricity, while there are forces of a higher order that act while remaining hidden to us.
Kabbalah holds the map or the knowledge of how these hidden forces are structured, and the laws by which they influence us. It teaches us (through books such as The Zohar and other means) how to develop a sense of these forces, and finally, discover their only purpose – to bring us to the revelation of the Creator, the all-inclusive law of nature, while living in this world.
This is a powerful repository of uncommon wisdom, holding keys to a myriad of questions like - What happened before the Big Bang Theory? Why evolution? Why are we here (in other words what is our purpose)? What was the movement that caused the Big Bang Theory?.’
Answers to all these questions and many more esoteric ones are masterfully crafted in ancient aramaic - the semitic language of ancient Israel. The knowledge of the ancients are the seeds of divine wisdom; it has to be understood correctly and cultivated diligently to bear rich spiritual fruits, else, it ends up producing thousands of fanatical religious nuts who just preach, and not necessarily practice.
The secrets of Kabbalah are waiting to be revealed to the worthy. If you deem yourself to be one, do start your journey here - http://www.kabbalaonline.org
To experience the oneness on Man and God is the aim of true spirituality, and to make them sound different and separate is the work of religion. It is up to you to choose. Choose wisely and be blessed.
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
Greetings!
This archaic word, "Kabbalah", might ring many familiar bells in your mind, prodding you to think of Madonna, mysticism and perhaps the red string. But, while many may be familiar with the term Kabbalah, few might be aware of what the knowledge is or how to put it into practice. Kabbalah has been clouded in confusion, legend, myth and misinterpretation; because it's said that the authentic Kabbalah has been hidden from mankind for thousands of years due the very reasons stated above.
This ancient knowledge portal is said to have come from Abraham all the way through Moses to Jesus - The Christ. However, modern Christians of various faiths, vehemently differ to accept this truth and disassociate themselves from this ancient science that Jesus himself was said to have practiced.
Although its origins are rooted in deep antiquity, from the time of ancient Babylon, the wisdom of Kabbalah has remained virtually hidden from humanity since it appeared more than four thousand years ago. To this very day, only a few know what Kabbalah really is.
For millennia, humanity was offered a wide variety of things under the name “Kabbalah”: spells, curses, and even miracles - all except for the method of Kabbalah itself. For over four thousand years, common understanding of Kabbalah has been cluttered with misconceptions and misinterpretations. Though Kabbalah is often associated with ancient Judaism, it is not a religion. It is practical and universal spirituality.
Therefore, first and foremost, the wisdom of Kabbalah needs to be made clear. Kabbalist Yehuda Ashlag (Baal HaSulam) provides the following definition in his article "The Essence of the Wisdom of Kabbalah":
"This wisdom is no more and no less than a sequence of roots, which hang down by way of cause and effect, in fixed, determined rules, interweaving to a single, exalted goal described as, “the revelation of His Godliness to His creatures in this world.”
In simpler words, there is an upper, all-inclusive force, or “the Creator,” controlling everything in reality. All the world’s forces descend from this comprehensive force. Some of these forces are familiar to us, such as gravity or electricity, while there are forces of a higher order that act while remaining hidden to us.
Kabbalah holds the map or the knowledge of how these hidden forces are structured, and the laws by which they influence us. It teaches us (through books such as The Zohar and other means) how to develop a sense of these forces, and finally, discover their only purpose – to bring us to the revelation of the Creator, the all-inclusive law of nature, while living in this world.
This is a powerful repository of uncommon wisdom, holding keys to a myriad of questions like - What happened before the Big Bang Theory? Why evolution? Why are we here (in other words what is our purpose)? What was the movement that caused the Big Bang Theory?.’
Answers to all these questions and many more esoteric ones are masterfully crafted in ancient aramaic - the semitic language of ancient Israel. The knowledge of the ancients are the seeds of divine wisdom; it has to be understood correctly and cultivated diligently to bear rich spiritual fruits, else, it ends up producing thousands of fanatical religious nuts who just preach, and not necessarily practice.
The secrets of Kabbalah are waiting to be revealed to the worthy. If you deem yourself to be one, do start your journey here - http://www.kabbalaonline.org
To experience the oneness on Man and God is the aim of true spirituality, and to make them sound different and separate is the work of religion. It is up to you to choose. Choose wisely and be blessed.
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Women - A Timeless Masterpiece
Dear One,
Greetings!
"Why did God make men first and then decided to do create women???"
"Because everyone knows that, first we experiment and then comes perfection."
Well, don't take offense gentlemen, but let them have their day. Do we ever celebrate "Men's Day"? We just live our hopeless workaholic lives everyday, fretting and fuming about our female bosses. Let them celebrate their womanhood. It's worth it, else imagine the plight of the world without women. For starters, we all would be a bunch of hopeless gay maniacs.
This post, I dedicate to all the women in my life, past, present and future, who have helped me make or break boundaries along with my sanity. I often think, as to why we celebrate a "Woman's Day" in the first place? The reason, I guess is, it's the day when women all over, stand up as one to assert and reclaim their lives and rights from chauvinistic world of men. Kudos!
Women have suffered silently and kept mum for ages, in a world where most men don't even bother to speak eye to eye, lest allow them to express with equal rights. They have rightfully earned this day for a rightful cause. True liberation starts when men and women start respecting each other's differences to living a common life of peace together.
The time for change has come. Men have begun to taste the effects of their own medicine. Equality of women's rights are claiming new grounds. You see all around in all leading sectors of society, it's women who are leading the pack. And what a marvelous job they do handling situations and responsibilities skillfully and with so much ease. I admire their intrinsic maternal quality of leading with an 'Iron hand in a soft glove' methodology. Women over men bosses are preferred these days to maintain work-life balance.
Men are basically very simple, uncomplicated and silly creatures. All they want is good food, good looks, good money and good sex. The rest are negligible factors we most often don't crave for, because we don't know any. Finer emotions are like aliens; we don't encounter them everyday to recognize them. Women on the other hand have a million desires and emotions in their closets, that we men fail to recognize, making us virtual aliens for them. That creates the legendary Mars-Venus divide.
A world without women is plainly unimaginable, as you and I will cease to exist. It's not gravity that keeps us grounded, but it's our women who do the trick. They can take you to unimaginable heights of fantasy and glory and yet they can bring you back to hard reality with a flick of an eye.
I admire women a lot because I am not insecure about my own masculinity. You oppress someone because of your own inability to express in clear terms and then listen to what they have to say. That's been happening throughout the ages. Women have been branded and oppressed because they dared to ask questions, for which we did not have any answers. Hence we snubbed them from asking any further questions by outcasting them active social life. Women's liberation is about the freedom of asking questions and getting the answers. That's why it was called the Dark Ages; where women were not allowed to play an equal part in a man's world, making it completely dark with ignorance.
My tribute goes to my first teacher, from whom I have learnt the art of living and she is a woman - My Mother. Then my other teachers who gave me the Three R's; to them I am deeply indebted. To all my girl friends without whom I could not have understood the meaning of heartaches and heartbreaks. They made me realize Asprin doesn't work in such cases. To my sister, who is a pain in my ass but an adorable and a bearable one. To all my female friends who listened when I spoke rubbish and laughed it out with me and not on me. Finally to my future mate, who will stand by me thick and thin, in spite of knowing what a piece of timeless junk I can be. Thank you all for being what you are.
And, thank you God for creating such a beautiful masterpiece.
Lastly, another joke -
A woman goes to bed at night irritated at her husband so she decides for once in her life to pray, and this is what she said "God give me tolerance for my husbands stupidity, give me wisdom to understand him, give me forgiveness to forgive him of his ignorance, but please God I beg of thee don’t give me strength cause I’ll kill him!"
What is your prayer?
Happy Woman's Day!
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
P.S - I don't mean to demean the race of men, as I too, am one of them. Ladies and gentlemen, let us celebrate our differences and be happy for what we are and not what we can be.
Greetings!
"Why did God make men first and then decided to do create women???"
"Because everyone knows that, first we experiment and then comes perfection."
Well, don't take offense gentlemen, but let them have their day. Do we ever celebrate "Men's Day"? We just live our hopeless workaholic lives everyday, fretting and fuming about our female bosses. Let them celebrate their womanhood. It's worth it, else imagine the plight of the world without women. For starters, we all would be a bunch of hopeless gay maniacs.
This post, I dedicate to all the women in my life, past, present and future, who have helped me make or break boundaries along with my sanity. I often think, as to why we celebrate a "Woman's Day" in the first place? The reason, I guess is, it's the day when women all over, stand up as one to assert and reclaim their lives and rights from chauvinistic world of men. Kudos!
Women have suffered silently and kept mum for ages, in a world where most men don't even bother to speak eye to eye, lest allow them to express with equal rights. They have rightfully earned this day for a rightful cause. True liberation starts when men and women start respecting each other's differences to living a common life of peace together.
The time for change has come. Men have begun to taste the effects of their own medicine. Equality of women's rights are claiming new grounds. You see all around in all leading sectors of society, it's women who are leading the pack. And what a marvelous job they do handling situations and responsibilities skillfully and with so much ease. I admire their intrinsic maternal quality of leading with an 'Iron hand in a soft glove' methodology. Women over men bosses are preferred these days to maintain work-life balance.
Men are basically very simple, uncomplicated and silly creatures. All they want is good food, good looks, good money and good sex. The rest are negligible factors we most often don't crave for, because we don't know any. Finer emotions are like aliens; we don't encounter them everyday to recognize them. Women on the other hand have a million desires and emotions in their closets, that we men fail to recognize, making us virtual aliens for them. That creates the legendary Mars-Venus divide.
A world without women is plainly unimaginable, as you and I will cease to exist. It's not gravity that keeps us grounded, but it's our women who do the trick. They can take you to unimaginable heights of fantasy and glory and yet they can bring you back to hard reality with a flick of an eye.
I admire women a lot because I am not insecure about my own masculinity. You oppress someone because of your own inability to express in clear terms and then listen to what they have to say. That's been happening throughout the ages. Women have been branded and oppressed because they dared to ask questions, for which we did not have any answers. Hence we snubbed them from asking any further questions by outcasting them active social life. Women's liberation is about the freedom of asking questions and getting the answers. That's why it was called the Dark Ages; where women were not allowed to play an equal part in a man's world, making it completely dark with ignorance.
My tribute goes to my first teacher, from whom I have learnt the art of living and she is a woman - My Mother. Then my other teachers who gave me the Three R's; to them I am deeply indebted. To all my girl friends without whom I could not have understood the meaning of heartaches and heartbreaks. They made me realize Asprin doesn't work in such cases. To my sister, who is a pain in my ass but an adorable and a bearable one. To all my female friends who listened when I spoke rubbish and laughed it out with me and not on me. Finally to my future mate, who will stand by me thick and thin, in spite of knowing what a piece of timeless junk I can be. Thank you all for being what you are.
And, thank you God for creating such a beautiful masterpiece.
Lastly, another joke -
A woman goes to bed at night irritated at her husband so she decides for once in her life to pray, and this is what she said "God give me tolerance for my husbands stupidity, give me wisdom to understand him, give me forgiveness to forgive him of his ignorance, but please God I beg of thee don’t give me strength cause I’ll kill him!"
What is your prayer?
Happy Woman's Day!
Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.
P.S - I don't mean to demean the race of men, as I too, am one of them. Ladies and gentlemen, let us celebrate our differences and be happy for what we are and not what we can be.
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