Why Men Stray & Women Follow?

Dear One,

Well, simply put, it is in our genes - That's what modern scientists have to say of this ageless 'hu-man' trait. By the way, it is not restricted to just men, women too have made their mark in this game of emotional tic-tac-toe.

So, the big question is why do men (and sometimes women) stray off-course in their relationship?

Now here are some startling facts. According to a new study conducted by marriage counselor, M. Gary Neuman, it's estimated that one in 2.7 men will cheat - and most of their will never know about it. What's more astonishing here is, when asked - "What is the number one reason men cheat?", almost 92% men said...

No. It was NOT sex. The majority said, it was an emotional disconnection, specifically a sense of feeling under appreciated. It can be said to be true for women as well, but men top the charts in this field to say the least.

Men are very emotional creatures and the differentiating factor from women is, that they can't explicitly express their emotions in clear terms, ending up giving mixed and confusing signals most of the time. Hence, the lack of correct understanding leads us to be termed emotionless and cold by our women. The secret in understanding men is in reading the signals right.

I have known couples, good friends of mine, straying undeniably in their relationship due to various unconsolable reasons. The primary reason is the lack of a healthy "Work-Life balance". It is one of the primary causes of discord in any relationship. They are just not able to "Invest" quality time with each other. Even if they manage to take time out for each other, their Blackberrys tag along, inflicting further damage.

Solution: Take time out for each other. Work is merely for sustenance, but relationship is a life-long partnership. Do crazy things together, like going on an adventure trail, bird watching (In the real sense), painting your home together etc. Creativity is the key to a long lasting relationship.

The second reason, which arguably stands true, is the lack of appreciation. With daily worries like bills, children and chores, psychologists say its easy for couples to drift away from appreciating one another like they should. Hence, men get instantly attracted to the "other" woman, who often makes the man feel better about himself. He goes weak in the knees, when the "other" women makes him feel different, admired and appreciated. Men look strong, powerful and capable, but on the inside, we are mighty insecure like everybody else. Men are looking for somebody to build them up and make them feel valued. Why can't that be you?

Solution: Don't be afraid to praise your partner or tell him that you appreciate what he does, Gary, the psychologist says, "We get married because we want one person in the world to really think we're wonderful for doing all the things that we do. We all want the same thing," he says. "And the more we give it, the more we get it in return."

Thirdly, when you fall out of love, your chances of losing your man gets higher. Sometimes, men become so comfortable in a relationship, they don't know how to get out. They may be staying in the relationship due to various reasons, like children or financial reasons. However, they feel like they are missing out on love and may seek it out else where.

Solution: Rekindle your relationship. Only love and time heals the deepest of wounds and brings two wayward souls closer to each other.

Other reasons why men cheat:
- Because they had an option. The old saying 'Men are only faithful as their options' can sometime ring true.
- It boosts their ego. Face it. It's got nothing to do with you. Men and their inflated egos can never be contained within four walls.
- Maybe you argue a lot. Men will sometime cheat to get away from an overly critical or argumentative partner.
- To get revenge. I mean tit for tat. (Just to prove to you they haven't lost their manly edge)
- To see if he can get away with it. (A man has the attitude of what she doesn't know; won't hurt her)
- Lastly, because you have allowed it in the past. How long does it take for history to repeat itself?

Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.