Marriage - A Survival Guide

 Dear One,

This post is dedicated to all men, who are planning to go for the kill. (Suicide is a grave offense). Although, I don't have any plans to get married for a few more years, I wish the rest, all the best. As for me, I still stand my ground of exploring myself, before I begin to explore some one else.

What makes me qualified to write something about marriage? True. No bachelor can know the highs and lows of marriage, leave alone writing something about it. (How blessed are we?) To my defense however, I do have some acquired wisdom; seeing many friends and family, surviving the trap of holy matrimony - some doing well and the rest pretending to be all's well.

So, what are the laws of successful marriage.

None.

That's correct, there are no laws for making marriages successful. Laws are mere rules, that are completely inflexible and rigid. Law once broken can never be mended, unlike marriage which is a constant medley of breaking old boundaries and building newer bridges. It is a state of constant evolution and innovation, for both the partners to explore for the rest of their lives. The minute you stop doing that, trouble in paradise begins.

In a world, where the sanctity of marriage is being questioned by the younger generation, in contrast to the yet rigid and orthodox, unforgiving mindsets of the older generation; it is creating an unprecedented war of values between the two.

So with due modifications, there can only be guidelines for successful marriages and no rules or laws. Few of the best ones are as follows -

- Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence. (Just kidding!)
- 3 main ingredients of a successful marriage are: 1. Communication 2. Communication 3. Communication
- Respect one another for the differences as much for the similarities.
- Laugh together and cry much closer. (Be there at both times)
- Don't forget to say "Thank You" to your spouse every time...All the time. (We tend to take each other for granted after marriage)
- Trust more and doubt less. (Doubt kills the strongest of relationships)
- Communicate through words to make your partner understand your silence.
- Intimacy is shared with only one person and that has to be definitely your spouse. (No best friends or soul mate crap)
- Be accountable for yourself and your actions. Don't play the blame game to the next level.
- "Stay-ability" is what is stability - The ability to stay together in all circumstances. (Divorce should never be an option.)
- DO NOT maintain separate bank accounts. Contrary to popular belief, I still believe, every penny earned has to be 'ours' and not just 'mine'.
- Romance the old fashion way. Take time to love each other. (It should be like Test Cricket and not 20-20)
- Share, to show you care.
- Pray together. Couples who kneel together, stand together, for each other.
- Just take it easy and don't rush in to marriage. (Take my lead and enjoy the party till it lasts)
- Lastly, remember - Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Think about it. ;-)

To all my married friends, who keep saying - "Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out"; If you have any other words of married wisdom, do share it with us to save us from a similar plight. (Kidding once again!)

Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.