Wordless Relationships

Dear One,

I sometimes wonder, as what attracts one to another. Is it a mere physical pull or a deeper mental and emotional compatibility that does the trick and make it click? How is it we get connected instantly to someone we happen to meet for an hour, and on the other hand, we spend a lifetime trying to decipher and understand few others. What is the secret of a great exciting relationship?

Relationships can become quite complicated if you don't understand it's purpose. Having said that, it is also very important to understand the role of communication in building life long relationships. Often we think that communication is just through the medium of words; but there is a deeper and a more effective mode of communication - Loving Silence. For me, the main element of a great relationship is the ability to understand your partner's silence as much as you can understand their words. Words are just an expression of your silence; if you fail to understand it, words becomes pure noise.

I am not trying to sound far-off or mystical, but the heart of the matter is, too many words tend to add  confusion in the already confused minds like yours and mine. The true purpose of words is to help create silence. What I mean by this is very simple. If my words can bring about a sense of caring calmness in you, then it is useful communication; if not, then try silence. Loving silence, in no way is apathetic or callous by nature. It is, in fact, highly constructive and building, if used thoughtfully. If used casually, it spells doom.

Loving silence in relationships is needed for times such as these, where we are quick to censure and slow to understand feelings. Misinterpretation has become our favorite past time indeed.We try hard to emote our feelings through words, but midway, somehow the essence gets lost in translation. All we are then left with, is a broken heart and a mouthful of empty words; both difficult to regroup once let loose.

Silent communication is as essential as meaningful expressions of words, to nurture healthy relationships. It can be a source of great clarity and understanding. A silent yet loving expression can be more expressive and mature than a hundred futile words. Here's what worked best for me. (Use them at your own risk though ;-)

- Let your eyes spark a genuine smile.
- Listen more. Speak less.
- When in doubt; keep quiet.
- Don't assume to make an ass of you and me
- Give ample space to your partner. Relationships, like trees need ample space to grow.
- Take a "Loving Silence Break" together once in a while.
- When arguing, one partner has to necessarily befriend silence (Don't be the silent one all the time)
- Don't talk at the same time. Two sharp wagging tongues often end up cutting each other.
- Allow your loving actions to speak more than your expressive words.
- Spend less time arguing on the details. Learn to see the bigger picture instead.
- At times, just let it be. Let go of it, to make it come back to you.

No one has expressed the power of silent relationships, more beautifully than the silent mystic, Khalil Gibran, when he said - "If you don't understand my silence; you will never understand my words."

That sums it all up. In silence I say peace be with you.

Peace in oneself - Peace in the world.