Memoirs Of A Terrorist

Dear One,

I am not a terrorist. I am a human being who has gone astray from humanity. No matter how hard I try to reason between right and wrong, I don't seem to come to a conclusion. I am so confused between good and evil, that I have stopped differentiating them anymore. My heart and mind were systematically forced to believe that religion has it's own demands of selfless sacrifices; and now it's my turn to make.'

'It was not like this always. My life was a peaceful one; playing in the lush green meadows with herds of cows and sheep to give me company. My father was a farmer and I loved watching him till the soil and plant seeds. I often asked him why he planted these tiny seeds. He used to put his strong arms on my shoulder and would answer saying that he was planting life to sustain life. Who knew that one day, I would be taking hundreds of lives to sustain a few selfish ones in the name of religion.'

'I am not a terrorist. I am an instrument of terror used by some nameless and faceless entity. I have let my life become a puppet in their scheming hands. How will I justify my position; I know not. I have accepted my plight with ruthless abhorrence. My life has become a game of hide and seek. I seek to kill and then hide to save my own skin.'

'My mother always told me that every religion preaches love for God and man alike. But when I met this man, he brainwashed me into thinking that my religion supports death over life and in spilling innocent blood to appease itself. He recounted all the unknown atrocities committed on my own kind, and said that it was time to payback. Thousands of youngsters, like me, were forced to take up a life of violence in order to prove our loyalty to our God and religion.'  

'Sometimes, my heart yearns for a life away from all this bloodshed, but who cares about me and what I think. All they know is blood and bloody warfare. They have made shedding blood a holy affair. I have become a heartless animal; bloodthirsty and driven by hate for my fellow human beings. All my actions are driven by an unknown sense of hate. Hate is more powerful than love, as it does not know the virtues of patience as love does. So it acts on impulse and then repents in leisure.' 

'I am not a terrorist. I am a creature of circumstance. I too want to grow into a loving father, son or husband. But now, all this seems too far off for me to even dream about. I have blood in my hands and it will never come off, even after a hundred lifetimes. My nights are spent sleepless, as voices of the dead haunt me, so I seldom close my eyes. I live a life of the waking dead and my mind too has become someone else's toy to manipulate around. I do what I am told to do, and end up executing someone's diabolical dreams.' 

'I want to confess today, that I want to be human again. I am fed of this life of blood, gore and hate. I don't know where to turn to. Wherever I turn, all I see is hatred and selfishness. I thought God is all-merciful and just, but he has deserted us in the hands of the so-called "Protectors of Religion". Alas! I am doomed for eternity and I deserve it.'

'Let my life be an example for all of you. Do not fight in the name of religion. Religion is man-made. God is Eternal. DO NOT listen to people who use God and religion, as a tool for creating moral dissension or  righteous confusion. They don't belong to any religion at all; they are just a vicious breed of blood sucking and mind numbing parasites; waiting to play with gullible minds for their own ulterior motives.'

'I am not a terrorist. I am a victim of terrorism just like you. Only you can save yourselves and your loved ones now. Join hands and wage a war against terrorism. Raise your voice and question your country's leaders for answers and force them to take concrete actions. No empty consoling talks, but well planned strategic steps to counter and combat terrorism is what is required. Do not let them sleep in peace and you too don't sleep it off after a week of heightened sense of disgust. Freedom and Peace are your birth right and you have to earn it with sustained and diligent effort. Let good sense prevail.'

'Yes, I am a terrorist. You made me one.'

Peace in oneself. Peace in the world.